Being There

            As we approached the funeral of Kirk and Erik Hansen a couple of weeks ago, several people told me that they would be praying for me as the officiant at that funeral.

            I had kind of mixed feelings about that.  On the one hand, it made me uncomfortable.  After all, this was not an event that was about me.  It was about the Hansen family and the community, and I felt like that was where people’s prayers should be focused.  On the other hand, I was grateful.  I’m always grateful when people pray for me, but I understood that this was a different situation.  People knew this would be a difficult situation, and they were praying that I would be able to bring some comfort and hope to the family and to the community at large.  I appreciated their concern.

            No one ever wants a tragedy to happen, of course.  On the other hand, when you sign up to be a pastor, you know it is a real possibility that you will have to handle something like this.  In fact, you know that it’s more than a possibility; it’s quite likely.  With the number of tragic things that happen in the world, anyone who is a pastor for a significant length of time is going to have to deal with something like this.  In fact, while the circumstances were different, Gettysburg suffered another significant blow this week with the loss of Bill Lehman, a loved and respected teacher for many years.

            You know you have to deal with it, so you do.  How?  By trusting God.  One of my favorite parts of the Bible comes when Jesus warns the disciples about a tough spot they are going to be in.  He tells them not to worry about what to say when the situation comes.  Instead, Jesus says, “just say whatever is given you at the time, for it is not you speaking, but the Holy Spirit.”

            The truth is that I rely on that an awful lot in ministry.  There are lots of situations that come up where I really don’t know what to say.  Somehow, though, the Lord usually gives me something to say.  In fact, sometimes I look back later and wonder where those words came from, because they don’t sound like what I’d have said if it had been up to me.  Then I realize that it wasn’t up to me, it was up to God.  God put the words in my mind and in my mouth.  I just said them.

            That’ll work for you, too.  So many times, we shy away from hard situations because we feel like we don’t know what to say.  We know we should call on the family, we know we should say something or do something, but we don’t know what to say or do.  We’re afraid we might say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing.  So, we say nothing and do nothing.  And the family continues to hurt.

            We cannot take all the pain away from a hurting family, of course.  But here’s the thing:  no one expects us to.  The family certainly doesn’t—they know there’s nothing we can do or say that will make things all better.  That’s not the point.

            The point is that hurting people need to know others care about them.  Hurting people need to know others love them.  Hurting people need to know they don’t have to go through their hurt alone.  It doesn’t matter what we say.  It doesn’t really matter that much if we say anything.  The main thing is just that they know we’re there for them.

            So if you know someone who’s hurting, go to them.  Call them on the phone.  Drop by.  Send them an email.  Send them a text.  Do whatever you do, but don’t leave them alone.  Let them know you’re there for them.  And don’t worry about what to say.  If our hearts are with God, then when the time comes, it won’t be us speaking anyway.  It will be God’s Holy Spirit, speaking through us.