How do
you see yourself?
Now, if you’re a smart-aleck like
me, you say, “Well, in a mirror, dummy, how else could I see myself?” But
seriously, how do you see yourself? Do
you think you’re a good person? Do you
think you’re smart? Do you think you’re
talented? Do you think you’re a caring person? Do you like the person you are? And do you think God likes the person you
are?
Those are not just rhetorical questions.
I want you to really think about them.
Because the way we see ourselves, what we think of ourselves, affects
the way we behave. It affects our interactions with people. And those things affect how well we’re able
to serve God and show love to people the way God wants us to.
We’ve talked before about the sin of
arrogance, and the problems it can cause for us. And we’ll probably talk
about it again. But there’s another
problem here that we need to talk about as well. Arrogance, having a higher
opinion of ourselves that we should have, thinking we’re better than we really
are, is definitely not a good thing. But having low self-esteem, having a
lower opinion of ourselves than we should have, thinking that we’re worse that
we really are, is not a good thing, either.
I called it a problem instead of a
sin because I can’t find anywhere in the Bible where God says having low
self-esteem is sinful. But it’s not a good thing, either. If we have a low opinion of ourselves, if we
don’t think we’re very good or very smart, if we cannot do much of anything,
that can keep us from going out and serving God. We feel like we’d never
be able to help anyone anyway, so there’s no point in trying. And so we just keep to ourselves.
It would be good, of course, if we
had just the right opinion of ourselves. Not higher than it should be,
but not lower than it should be, either.
But that’s really hard to do. And really, maybe we should not
try. We always talk about how we should
not judge people, that we should leave judgment to God. That can apply to
judging ourselves, too. Why should we
think we’ll be any better at judging ourselves than we would be at judging
someone else? That’s a judgment we should leave to God, too.
So how do we handle this?
Well, let’s look at our Bible reading for today, the words of the Apostle Paul
that he wrote to Timothy. Paul says that of all he sinners, he was the
worst. He had been a blasphemer, someone
who refused to accept Jesus Christ as the Lord and Savior. He been a violent
man. He had persecuted Christians.
And yet, he says, Jesus has given him strength. Jesus has considered him to be
trustworthy. The grace of Jesus Christ
was poured out on him, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus,
and Paul was appointed to Jesus’ service.
Let’s think about that. You
know, a lot of times people talk about Paul as being an extremely
self-confident man. Not quite arrogant, but often coming close to
that. But this passage shows that Paul
was not arrogant at all. He was not even all that
self-confident.
Those names Paul calls himself--blasphemer, persecutor, a violent
man--those names were all true. In the aftermath of Jesus’ crucifixion,
in the early days of the Christian church, Paul was about the worst enemy
Christians had. He had been very self-confident in those days. Paul was convinced that he was doing God’s
work by persecuting the Christians and trying to stamp out the Christian church.
It was not until Jesus himself intervened, speaking to Paul on the road to
Damascus, that Paul saw that he was actually fighting against God.
Paul recognized all the terrible things he’d done. And I’m
sure he deeply regretted having done them.
But he did not let those things he’d done in his past keep him from
serving God now. Why not?
Because Paul realized that this was not about him. Paul knew
that, on his own, he could never serve God. Not being who he was. But Paul knew that he was not on his
own. He was using the power of God.
His ability to serve God had nothing to do with who he was. It had
everything to do with who God is.
And that’s the thing you and I always need to remember. Our
ability to serve God has nothing to do with who we are. It has everything
to do with who God is. We don’t
accomplish anything for God by ourselves. We only accomplish things for
God when God acts in us and through us.
And so, in the final analysis, what we think of ourselves should
not matter. What we think of our abilities and talents should not
matter. Because, when it comes to
serving God, we should not be thinking about ourselves. We should be
thinking about God. No matter how good
we think we are, we cannot serve God by relying on our own talents and
abilities. We can only serve God by
relying on God. And no matter how bad we think we are, we can still serve
God, because we are not relying on our own talents and abilities. We can still serve God because we’re relying
on God.
And in fact, Paul says that the fact that he was such a
sinner--that he was a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man--has made
him better able to serve God. Again, not because anything about that has
made him better. But because God was able
to use him as an example. Paul is
basically saying, look, if God can forgive me, after all I’ve done, then God
can forgive anybody. If God’s love and grace and forgiveness are
available to me, the worst sinner you ever saw, then God’s love and grace and
forgiveness are available to everybody.
If God can use me, even me, to serve God, then God can use anybody to
serve God. Including you. And
including me.
What it comes down to, really, is a matter of trust and
faith. Do we trust God enough, do we have enough faith in God, to believe
that God can use us? Do we trust God enough, do we have enough faith in
God, to believe that God will use us? Do we trust God enough, do
we have enough faith in God, to allow God to use us?
Those are not easy questions to answer. I mean, we all know
what the answer should be. We know we’re supposed to trust
God that much. We know we’re supposed to have that much faith in
God. We know what the “right” answers are.
But the things is that ultimately, the answers to those questions
are not going to come out of our mouths. They’re going to be shown by our
actions. The things we do, the way we
live our lives, that’s what’s going to show how much faith and trust we have in
God. The times we’re willing to step out of our comfort zone to serve
God. The times we’re willing to take
risks to serve God. The times we’re
willing to try to do something that we don’t know that we can do because we
think God wants us to. Those are the things that will give our answers to
those questions. Those are the things
that will show whether we believe God can and will use us, and those are things
that will show whether we’re willing to allow God to use us.
Having said that, let me say one other thing--I know this is not
always easy. In fact, there are many times when it’s not easy. It’s easy to say. It’s not always easy to do. It’s not always
easy for us to step out of our comfort zone, to take risks, to try things we
don’t know whether we can do. Stepping out in faith can be a hard thing
to do. Sometimes it’s hard for me. And I’m sure I’m not the only one.
If it is hard for you, here’s something that may help. Think
of times when you have taken those steps in faith. Think of times when
you have stepped out of your comfort zone, times when you have taken some risks
to serve God. What happened?
And when I ask “what happened”, I’m not asking “Did it
work?” I’m asking, “Did you feel God with you? Did you feel God helping you? Did you
feel that you were doing what God wanted you to do?”
Those are the important questions. Because there will be
times when what we do does not appear to work. There are times when, to
human eyes, it will look like we failed.
But God does not define success or failure the way humans do. God
defines success by our trust and by our faith.
If we trust God enough to do what God wants us to do, if we have enough
faith to take some risks, we will have succeeded no matter what happens.
God does not define success by results.
God tells us to trust and stay faithful, and to leave the results up to
God.
Whether our opinion of ourselves is high or low or somewhere
in-between, we can all be used by God. And God wants to use us. God wants to use you. And God
can use you. Don’t worry about whether you’re good enough. It’s not
about how good you are. It’s about how
great God is. We can do all things with God.
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