For the Sake of Argument

I’m getting older.  Well, everyone is, I suppose.  And as I get older, I find myself changing.  Most people probably do.  Sometimes it’s an intentional change, something you’re deliberately working on and trying to improve about yourself.  But sometimes, it’s something that just happens, without you even realizing it.

One thing I’ve noticed about myself is that I don’t like to argue nearly as much as I used to.  When I was younger, I used to argue a lot.  I enjoyed it.  Maybe that’s one of the reasons I became a lawyer, I don’t know.  But I would argue about a lot of things.  Sports.  Politics.  Religion.  Whatever.  I had opinions about nearly everything, and I was often happy to let people know what they were.

I don’t do that much any more.  I still have opinions, but I tend to keep them to myself.  If you ask me a direct question, and really want to know what I think, I’ll tell you.  But even then, if you don’t agree, that’s fine.  I really don’t care to argue with you.  You can have your opinion, and I can have mine, and we can still be friends.  Very few people change their minds as a result of an argument, anyway.  In fact, usually what happens is that people become even more firmly entrenched in their positions and less willing to consider a contrary view.

Some might say that’s not right.  In fact, they might say it’s the coward’s way out.  After all, just last week I preached a sermon about how sometimes we need to be willing to take a stand.  Sometimes we need to be willing to say this is right and this is wrong, and be willing to accept the consequences for that.  So, am I not practicing what I preach?

Maybe not, but I don’t think that’s true.  I’m willing to say what I think is right.  I’m just not willing to argue about it.  If someone wants to know why I think what I do, if they’re really interested in my reasoning, I’ll tell them.  But again, I’m not willing to argue about it.  If someone asks for my opinion, I assume it’s because they’re interested in knowing my opinion.  If they’re not, if they’re only interested in my opinion when it agrees with theirs, well, then we might as well drop the subject.  I’m not likely to change their mind, and they’re not likely to change mine.  So, there’s no point in arguing about it.

It seems to me that’s kind of the approach Jesus took a lot of times.  I don’t mean to compare myself to Jesus by saying that.  Jesus was Jesus, the divine Son of God, and I’m--well, not.  But Jesus did not go around looking to get into arguments.  Most of the time, he simply said, “Here’s how it is.”  People were free to follow him or not.  Many times they did not.  I suspect Jesus was sad about that, but he did not go chasing after them to try to change their minds. 

Jesus did get into arguments with the Pharisees, of course.  But even then, Jesus did not initiate the argument.  He answered their questions.  If they didn’t want to hear his answers, well, that was their problem.  Jesus knew he was not going to change their minds, and they obviously were not going to change his.  So, most of the time, Jesus said his piece and dropped the subject, sometimes quite abruptly.

Does that mean it’s wrong to argue about things?  Not necessarily.  We all have to be who we are.  God made us all different.  Some people are like I used to be, and enjoy arguing, and that’s fine.  But if you are going to argue, remember to do so respectfully and lovingly.  After all, God loves the person you’re arguing with just as much as God loves you.  God even loved the Pharisees.  God even loved them when they were crucifying Jesus.  Remember how Jesus, while on the cross, prayed, “Father, forgive them, they don’t know what they are doing?”  You could only pray that way out of love.

So, whether you enjoy arguing or not, don’t forget to show love to people, especially those who disagree with you.  I’m pretty sure that’s part of what that “love your neighbor” thing was about.