A Feeling of Appropriateness

            As most of you know, I was a lawyer for a long time before I became a pastor.  I practiced law, in one way or another from the time I got out of law school in 1984 until the time I became a full-time pastor in 2008.  That’s twenty-four years.

            Twenty-four years is a long time.  The last two years, of course, I was only practicing part time, as I was also a part-time pastor and a full-time seminary student.  I knew, in those two years, that the time was coming when I would no longer be a lawyer.  I wondered sometimes how I’d feel about leaving law when the time finally came.  After all, a lot of a person’s identity is wrapped up in what they do.  Despite all the lawyer jokes, I was actually fairly proud of being a lawyer, and I wondered what how I’d feel when I couldn’t call myself one any more.

            It’s hard to explain what I actually felt when I left law.  The best way I can describe it, I think, is to call it a feeling of appropriateness.  It somehow felt right to be leaving the law practice when I did.  I was happy being a lawyer while I was one, but it felt like leaving when I did was the right thing to do.  I’d enjoyed it while I was doing it, but it was time to move on and see what was going to come next, trusting God that whatever came next was going to be good.

            Now I wonder if, sometimes, that’s what death might be like for those of us who are lucky enough to live a long time.  We see it coming, and we wonder what it’s going to be like.  After all, our identity now is wrapped up in who we are on this earth.  We wonder what it’s going to be like when the time finally comes to move on.  I wonder if, assuming we’re lucky enough to live out a normal lifespan (or perhaps a little more) and die of natural causes, we might sometimes get that same feeling of appropriateness when death finally comes.  I wonder if it can somehow feel right to leave this earth at that time.  I wonder if, maybe, we can say “I enjoyed this life on earth while I had it, but it’s time to move on and see what’s going to come next, and I’m going to trust God that whatever comes next is going to be good.”

            I don’t know.  I hope I don’t have to find out for a while yet.  I hope, though, that when the time comes, maybe it will feel kind of like that.  After all, God promises that, if we believe in Jesus as our Savior, what comes next will be good.  In fact, it’ll be better than good.  It’ll be so incredible that we really cannot possibly understand it or comprehend it while we’re on this earth.

            I enjoyed being a lawyer, but when the time came, I was ready to move on.  I hope I’ll be able to say that when the time comes for me to leave this earth, too.