Grieving

Well, this has been quite a week.  I had a funeral last week Thursday and two of them Friday.  This week I had one Tuesday and one Wednesday.  I hadn’t had a funeral all year, and then I had five of them in seven days.

My point in saying that is not to have you feel sorry for me.  Handling funerals is part of my job.  You obviously wish you didn’t have to do them, but we all know that death is a part of life.  And in a way, handling a funeral can be satisfying.  It’s a good feeling to be able to be there for someone when they’re going through a tough time and feel that you may have been able to help them through it, at least a little.

My point is that there are a lot of grieving families in our community.  They’re all around us.  And it’s pretty much a constant thing.  Both the Onida Watchman and the Potter County News have two to four obituaries pretty much every week.  That means there are two to four families in each of our communities every week who’ve lost a loved one.  And because no one gets over grief in a week or a month, those two to four families are added to the people we already have in our community who are grieving.  That’s a lot of people, right where we are, who are dealing with grief every day.

So, what do we do?  Well, a couple of things.  One, if you are grieving, know that you’re not alone.  There are a lot of people around you who have gone through what you’re going through.  Some of them still are going through it.  That does not end your grief, of course.  It may not make you feel any better about it at all.  But sometimes it does help, a little, to know that other people have been through what you’re going through.

Two, the fact that there are people who’ve gone through what you’re going through means there are people out there who will understand.  We’re all different, of course.  We all grieve in a different way.  But still, there are people who can help you go through your grief, because they’ve been through it or are going through it.  You don’t have to go through it alone.

Three, those of us who are not grieving need to be more understanding and accepting.  Not just of people who are grieving, but of everyone.  Because we don’t know what someone else is going through.  There are people around us who are grieving and we don’t even know about it.  There are people around us who are going through lots of other things, too.  Most people, at least in this area, don’t advertise their problems.  You ask someone how they’re doing, and they say, “Fine.”  But inside, they may have all sorts of turmoil going on in their lives that you know nothing about.  So, if someone says something we don’t like, or acts in a way we don’t like, let’s remember that we have no idea what they’ve gone through or are going through that led them to say or do that.  Let’s try to accept each other as we are.

Death is a part of life, and we know that.  But it’s still a blow when it happens to someone we love.  And we don’t get over it in a day, or a week, or a month.  So let’s all be there for each other.  Let’s support each other and encourage each other.  Let’s love each other.  As I recall, that’s what Jesus told us to do.