Forgiving Jesus

The Wednesday night Lent message given in the Gettysburg United Methodist church on February 28, 2024.  The Bible verses used are Mark 3:20-35.

Jesus’ first miracle came at a wedding in Cana, when He turned water into wine.  This was a pretty unmistakable sign that it was time for Jesus to leave Nazareth and start his ministry on earth.

            Jesus’ leaving must have been hard on His mother, Mary.  She knew it had to be this way, of course.  She remembered what the angel Gabriel had told her.  She knew who Jesus was.  Still, it was hard.  Jesus had been a part of her life for thirty years, more or less.  And now, he was not there anymore.

            There probably was not a day that went by that she did not think of him.  She wondered where he was.  She wondered what he was doing.  She wondered if he was all right, if he was eating properly, if he was getting enough rest.  She wondered all the things that a mother wonders when her son is away from home, out on his own.

            Once in a while, of course, Jesus would come back to Nazareth.  And I’m sure he looked in on Mary, to see how she was doing.  It would sure be interesting to know how those conversations went, don’t you think?  Did Jesus tell Mary about all the things he’d done?  Did he tell her about being tempted in the desert?  Did he tell her about healing people?  Did he tell her about taking on demons?  If so, how would Mary react to that?  Would she be proud of Jesus?  Would she be worried about him?  Did she ever try to get him to come back home, to come back to the carpenter shop?

            Well, we don’t know any of that, of course.  But if she ever did try to get him to come back home, it did not work.  Jesus was never there very long.  He’d be there for a little while, and then he’d be gone again, back to his ministry.  And Mary would be alone again, left to wonder and worry about him.

Obviously, communication back then was not what it is now.  It’s not like Jesus had a cell phone Mary could call.  She could not send him a text or an email.  She could not even contact him on facebook.  Still, though, I’m sure she heard things.  Probably lots of things.  Maybe she heard about the time he fed five thousand people with five loaves of bread and two fish.  Maybe she heard about the huge crowds he was drawing to hear him preach.  Maybe she even heard about him walking on the water and calming the storm.

            If she did, she must have been really proud of him.  I mean, think about it.  Think about if your son or your daughter could do stuff like that.  Most parents are proud of their children anyway, but this would be something really incredible right.  To think that your child was doing that.  It’d be incredible.

            But she probably heard some other things, too.  She probably heard about the times Jesus broke the Sabbath law.  She probably heard about the times he argued with the Pharisees.  She probably heard about the times he got into trouble with the authorities.  And you just know that there were some people eager to tell her about stuff like that, right?  After all, it’s not like gossip is a recent invention.  People did it back then, too.  There were probably people who just could not wait to tell Mary when they heard something critical of Jesus.

            So we come to our Bible reading for tonight.  We’re told that Jesus and his disciples go to a house, and there’s a huge crowd there, so big that Jesus could not even eat.  Then we’re told, “When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, ‘He is out of his mind.’”

            Now, we don’t know who this “family” was that thought Jesus was out of his mind.  Some people think it was not actually his family at all, at least not in the sense of blood relatives.  And that does kind of make sense, because people sometimes gave “family” a broader meaning back then.  People who were family friends were sometimes referred to as uncles or cousins, even though they were not actually related.  Whoever it was, though, it must not have been Mary, and it must not have been Jesus’ brothers, because we’re told later in the passage, “Then Jesus’ mother and brothers arrived.”

            And that’s the part I want to focus on.  Jesus is talking to the people, and he’s telling them things about God and about their faith.  And the things he’s telling them, the way he’s interpreting scripture and telling them who God is, are things they’ve never heard before.  They’ve certainly never heard them from the Pharisees.  And Jesus is saying it like he’s someone in authority, like he knows this stuff and has no doubt that it’s true.

            And because of that, some people think Jesus has gone nuts.  And other people think he’s possessed by demons.  And in the middle of all this chaos and confusion, Mary and Jesus’ brothers show up.  They cannot even get in the door because of the crowd.  So they send a message to Jesus to tell him that they’re there and want to talk to him.

            And here’s Jesus’ response.  He says, “Who are my mother and my brothers?”  Then he looks at the people around him, the people who believe in him and trust him, and he says, “Here are my mother and my brothers!  Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.”

            Can you imagine Mary’s reaction, when she heard that response?  She was worried about Jesus.  She’d heard he might be in trouble.  She came down to check on him, to see if he could help.  And Jesus sends a response that basically is a rejection of both Mary and of his brothers.

            Now, I don’t think Jesus really intended it that way.  It’s hard for me to believe that Jesus would’ve deliberately hurt his mother.  I think he was more making a point about how we are all brothers and sisters if we follow God.  Or, he may have been afraid that Mary and his brothers were going to try to make him stop his ministry.  Or there may have been other reasons Jesus said what he said.  But still, think of this from Mary’s point of view.  Mary has come all this way because she loves Jesus and is worried about him, and Jesus refuses to even see her.  Can you imagine how she must have felt?

            We don’t know what happened after that.  Mark drops the story at that point and moves on to something else.  So do Matthew and Luke in their versions of the story.  We’d like to think, of course, that maybe after the meal was over and the people had left, Jesus went to see Mary and explained things to her.  But for all we know, that may not have happened until much later or it may not have happened at all.  For all we know, Mary and her sons may have simply turned around and gone home, feeling like Jesus did not even care about them anymore.

            Have you ever had someone you love hurt you like that?  Have you ever felt rejected by someone you were really close to?  Someone you were just trying to help?  If so, then maybe you have some idea how Mary felt here.  To have her own son, a son whom she’d been through a lot to have and to raise, and who, after all, was supposed to be the Son of God, reject her, and in a really public way.  It had to hurt.

            But here’s the thing.  Somehow, Mary got over it.  Somehow, Mary got past the hurt.  I don’t suppose it was easy.  It probably took some time.  It probably took some prayer.  Maybe it took talking to Jesus at some point, we don’t know.  But somehow, Mary got over it.  We know she got over it because we see her with Jesus later in the gospels.  In fact, we see her at the cross when Jesus is dying, and we see her going to prepare Jesus’ body for burial. 

            In other words, Mary forgave Jesus.  Does that sound odd to you?  That Mary would forgive Jesus?  After all, Jesus is the divine Son.  Jesus is without sin.  And yet Mary forgave Jesus.  Did Jesus sin, that Mary had to forgive him?

            No, I don’t think so.  I believe that Jesus did not sin while he was on earth.  He was tempted to, but he did not.  But I still think that Mary forgave him.

            You see, I don’t think we have to sin, necessarily, to hurt people.  We can hurt people by accident.  We can hurt people with the best of intentions.  We can hurt people by things we say or do when we don’t even realize how they’re going to take what we say.

            And that can happen to us, too.  We can be hurt by people who have no intention of hurting us.  But despite their intentions, we’re still hurt.  And we have to find a way to get past it.  And that way past it is to forgive them.  We need to forgive them for hurting us even if they don’t know they hurt us.  We don’t forgive them to help them.  We forgive them to help us.

            I don’t think Jesus intended to hurt Mary.  But I suspect Mary was hurt.  And I suspect Mary needed to forgive Jesus.  Not because Jesus needed to receive forgiveness.  But because Mary needed to give it.  She needed to forgive Jesus so she could get past the hurt and have a relationship with her son again.

            Who do you need to forgive?  I suspect there’s someone.  I suspect we all have someone we need to forgive.  I’d encourage you to think about who it is.  I’d encourage you to pray about it.  And I’d encourage you to find a way to forgive them.  It won’t be easy.  It may take some time.  It may take lots of time and lots of prayer. 

            But keep trying.  This period we’re in right now, this period of Lent, is a time for forgiveness.  We usually think of that as us asking for forgiveness from God, and that is a major part of it.  But Jesus said several times that the amount of forgiveness we received is related to the amount of forgiveness we give.  

So again, keep trying to forgive them.  Even if they don’t think they need forgiveness, keep trying to forgive them.  Even if they’re not interested in receiving your forgiveness, keep trying to forgive them.  Keep trying until you can do it.  Because you’re not forgiving them because they need to receive forgiveness.  You’re forgiving them because you need to give forgiveness.  You’re forgiving them so you can get past the hurt.  That’s the only way we can ever be free of it.  And it’s only when we’re free of that hurt that we can truly be the people God wants us to be.