A New Self

The message given in the Sunday night service in the Gettysburg United Methodist church on July 18, 2021.  The Bible verses used are Ephesians 4:22-32.

            Jesus said, “No one can see the kingdom of heaven unless they are born again.”

            That phrase, “born again”, is one that gets tossed around a lot.  But rarely do we hear anyone actually define it.  And so, in a lot of people’s minds, to be “born again” is some sort of mystical, almost metaphysical sort of thing.  It becomes a hard thing for some people to relate to.

            But it does not have to be.  While Paul does not use that term in our reading for tonight from the letter to the Ephesians, that’s what he’s talking about:  being born again.  Paul phrases it as “taking of our old self” and “putting on our new self”.  

            For Paul, this is not a mystical, metaphysical sort of thing at all.  It’s a very real, practical thing.  There are specific behaviors of the old self that we need to get rid of.  And there are specific behaviors for the new self that we need to start practicing and make a habit of.

            But first Paul gives us some definitions, so we can tell the difference between those behaviors.  He says that the old self is “corrupted by deceitful desires”.  The new self, on the other hand, is created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

            And if we human beings only had it in ourselves to be completely honest with ourselves about who we are, that would probably be all we needed to know.  If we’re considering doing that’s been corrupted by deceitful desires, we should decide not to do it.  If we’re considering doing something that shows God righteousness and holiness, we should do it.  Simple, right?

            Well, it would be.  Except….human beings can be great rationalizers.  If we really want to do something we know we should not do, if we want to do something that’s been corrupted by deceitful desires, we can almost always come up with some “good reason” why it’s okay and we should do it.  It may be a very flimsy reason.  It might be a reason that no rational person would accept.  But we’re able to convince ourselves that it makes sense, for no reason other than that it’s something we really want to do.  That what makes it a “deceitful desire”, after all--we use our desire to do something to deceive ourselves into thinking it’s okay when we know it’s really not.

            Because Paul knew that, he went on to give examples of what these “deceitful desires” are, so we can fight them.  I’m sure Paul never thought of this as a complete list--when it comes to deceitful desires, we human being can be really creative.  But these are things Paul said to specifically watch out for.

            “Put off falsehood and speak truthfully.”  I don’t know if we think often enough about how important truth is to God.  As we said a couple of weeks ago, society these days looks at truth as a subjective thing.  There can be “your truth” and there can be “my truth”, and each of our “truths” is equally valid.  That’s not a Biblical concept.  God believes in “the truth”, objective truth.  In fact, Jesus said he is the truth:  he said, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life.”  Part of being putting on our new self, our Christian self, is speaking the truth.

            Now, to be sure, you and I should not use the truth as something with which to deliberately hurt people.  But at the same time, speaking truthfully sometimes means telling people things they don’t want to hear.  That’s not necessarily a mean thing to do.  In fact, sometimes it’s a very loving thing to do.  I can look back at times in my life where I am very fortunate that somebody loved me enough to tell me the truth, even when I did not want to hear it.  I did not want to hear it, but I needed to hear it, because there were things in my life I needed to straighten out.  When we see someone going down a bad road, it is not showing love to them to let them keep going down that road.  The loving thing to do is to tell them they need to turn around, even if that’s not something they want to hear.

            But speaking truthfully to others is only part of it.  We also need to speak truthfully to ourselves.  And that can be very hard, because again, we human beings can be great rationalizers.  Part of putting on our new self is to stop lying to ourselves, to see ourselves as we really are, and to make the changes we need to make in our lives.

            But that’s why, in being born again, we need to be born by the Holy Spirit.  Because it’s so easy for us to lie to ourselves.  Sometimes those are the biggest lives we tell--the ones we tell ourselves.  It can be hard to stop doing it.  It takes God’s Holy Spirit acting within us to help us see ourselves as we truly are speak truthfully to ourselves.

            Paul goes on to write, “In your anger do not sin.  Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.”

            I find it interesting that Paul did not say “Don’t get angry.”  I suspect that Paul knew anger is a natural human emotion.  To say, “Don’t get angry” would be like saying “Don’t be sad”.  We’re all going to be sad sometimes, and we’re all going to get angry sometimes.  It’s inevitable.  And in fact, it’s not always a bad thing.  Jesus got angry at times.  Probably the most extreme example of Jesus’ anger is when he chased the money changers out of the temple with a whip, but Jesus got angry at other times as well.  Anger is not necessarily a bad thing for us to feel.

            But it is something to be careful about.  If we don’t control our anger, it can lead us to say and do all kinds of things that will be bad.  There’s an old saying that when we get angry, we’ll make the best speech we’ll ever regret.  Anger can lead us to say very hurtful things, things we might not even mean, but that we said in the heat of the moment.  Anger can lead us to do harmful things, harmful to others and harmful to ourselves, things we would never have done if we’d been in control of our emotions.  Paul says it’s okay to be angry, but it’s not okay to let our anger get the best of us.  

            It’s also not okay for us to stay angry too long.  “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.”  Don’t hold grudges.  Don’t dwell on our anger.  Don’t let our anger keep us from offering forgiveness--after all, Jesus said we will be forgiven to the extent we forgive others.  Don’t let our anger keep us from loving others--Jesus said to love even our enemies.  That’s why staying angry too long gives the devil a foothold--if we don’t find a way to get past our anger, it will keep us from doing the things Jesus told us to do.

Paul says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”  When we hear that phrase, “unwholesome talk”, we may first think of swearing.  And that’s included in unwholesome talk, but the phrase goes a lot deeper than that.  “Unwholesome talk” means gossiping about people and talking behind their backs.  “Unwholesome talk” means making sarcastic, cutting remarks to people.  “Unwholesome talk” means putting people down.  “Unwholesome talk” can mean all kinds of things.  Basically, it’s the opposite of the kind of talk Paul says we should engage in:  talk that is “helpful for building others up”, talk that will “benefit those who listen.”

            I suspect that almost all of us engage in unwholesome talk sometimes.  I have.  I’m not proud of it, but getting back to that truth thing, if I’m truthful, I have to admit that I’ve done it.  It’s really easy to do.  Sometimes we do it without even thinking about it.  Again, this is why we need to be born of God’s Holy Spirit.  It’s something that’s very difficult for us to stop doing by ourselves.  We need God’s help to stop with the unwholesome talk and instead stick with wholesome talk, that talk that builds others up and benefits those who listen.

            A lot of what Paul has been saying is what we should not do.  That’s putting off the old self.  But Paul knew that we cannot put off the old self without having something to replace it with.  In other words, it’s not enough to just put off the old self.  We need to put on the new self.  So Paul closes this section of his letter by saying, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

            What would our community look like, if everyone was kind and compassionate to each other, and if everyone forgave each other?  What would our country look like, if everyone was kind and compassionate to each other, and if everyone forgave each other?  What would our world look like, if everyone was kind and compassionate to each other, and if everyone forgave each other?  That would be pretty close to heaven on earth, would it not?  I’m not saying it would literally be heaven on earth, but I think it would be about as close as human beings can come to it.

            And it maybe it sounds like a dream, a fantasy, to think that everyone could be kind and compassionate to each other and that everyone could forgive each other.  And maybe it is.  But if it’s ever going to happen, it has to start somewhere.  And maybe, just maybe, it could start with you and me.

            I cannot say that you and I being kind and compassionate to everyone and forgiving everyone will change the world.  But it might.  And if it does not, it might at least change our little part of the world.  And it also might change us.  It might mean that we truly have put on that new self, that we truly are born again.  

            And it might mean that you and I will see the kingdom of heaven.  That would be pretty cool, don’t you think?