Move Forward

This is the message given in the United Methodist churches of the Wheatland Parish on Sunday, June 6, 2021.  The Bible verses used are Matthew 19:1-11.

            To be honest, when these Bible verses popped up this week, my first thought was, “Maybe I should just preach on John 3:16 instead.”  Because, as you heard, our Bible verses are Jesus’ teaching on divorce.

            These days there are very few families who have not been touched by divorce in some way.  Some of you have been divorced.  Others of you have loved ones who have been divorced.  In my own family, three of my nephews have been divorced and both of my brothers married women who have been through a divorce.  Because of that, it tends to be a pretty sensitive subject.

            So, before I get into it too much, I want to say that my purpose here is not to attack anyone, not to condemn anyone, and not to point fingers at anyone.  If you feel that I’ve done that, please come and talk to me after the service, because that is most definitely not my intent.  Everyone’s circumstances are different.  I don’t know the circumstances of anyone’s life but my own.  And even if I did, it’s not my job to judge anyone.  That’s God’s job.  And God obviously does a much better job of it than I ever could.

            But having said all that, these are the words of Jesus, as set down by Matthew under the inspiration of God.  And so, if we’re going to call ourselves Christians, we have to take them seriously and deal with them.  If we’re going to just ignore the words of Jesus that we don’t like, we’re going to have the Gospel According to Me.  And that would be a lot easier gospel to deal with while we’re here on earth.  But it would not be true to God’s word, and it would not be faithful to Jesus Christ.  The Gospel According to Me would not be one a Christian can or should follow.

            So let’s look at it.  Jesus is asked whether it is lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason.  He was not asked whether it was lawful for a woman to divorce her husband for any and every reason, because women did have the right to seek a divorce back then.  Women had very few rights at all.  The question was asked the way it was because of the legal situation at the time.

            And note that Jesus does not actually answer the question.  Jesus was not interested in what was lawful under Jewish law.  Jesus was interested in what was right in God’s eyes.  

            So Jesus quotes Genesis.  He quotes it twice, in fact.  He says “at the beginning the Creator made them male and female”, and he says “For this reason a man will leave his father and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”  He concludes, then, that it is God who made a husband and wife one flesh, and says that what God has united, humans should not separate.

            His questioners, the Pharisees, respond by citing the law again.  They point out that Moses allowed men to divorce their wives.  Jesus responds by saying, yeah, I know.  Moses had to do that to allow for the faults and failings of human nature.  But that’s not the way it’s supposed to be.  That’s not why God created marriage in the beginning.  And that’s still not what marriage should be.  Jesus did allow for divorce due to sexual immorality, but for no other reason.

            So what do we do with this?  Well, first, let’s look at what Jesus did not say.  Jesus did not say that people who get divorced are going to hell.  He did not say divorce is an unforgivable sin.  He did not say divorced people are not loved or valued or treasured by God.  Jesus did not say any of that.

            In fact, Jesus did not say that divorce, in and of itself, is a sin at all.  He did say that if a man divorces his wife for any reason other than sexual immorality, and then marries another woman, he commits adultery.  And of course, adultery is a sin--one of the Ten Commandments is “Thou shalt not commit adultery.”  And we’ll come back to that.  But Jesus did not say that just the act of divorce is a sin.

What Jesus is saying is that God created marriage to unite two people.  And that unity is supposed to last forever.  And in theory, I think most people would agree with that.  I mean, when you get married, you get married with the idea that it’s going to last forever, right?  You get married with the idea that you’ve found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.  I don’t know anyone who gets married with the thought that, “well, we’ll do this for a few years and then we’ll get divorced.”  When we get married, we want it to last the rest of our lives.

            It does not always work like that, of course.  And the reason it does not is the reason Jesus stated--because any marriage is a joining together of two imperfect, broken, sinful people.  And sometimes those imperfections, that brokenness, that sinful nature, results in a marriage falling apart.  

            And when a marriage falls apart, people get hurt.  The two people who were married get hurt, of course.  Children get hurt.  Families get hurt.  Friends get hurt.  Any divorce, regardless of the circumstances, results in hurt and pain.  And I’m sure you know that.

            That’s why Jesus is opposed to divorce.  Not because Jesus wants people stuck in bad, loveless marriages.  And Jesus certainly does not want people stuck in abusive situations.  What Jesus wants is for people to be in loving marriages.  To be in marriages where the husband and wife care for each other and support each other and encourage each other.  To be in marriages where the husband and wife are always there for each other and help each other.  That’s why God created marriage.

            Now, again, Jesus did say that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman, commits adultery.  But let’s look at how Jesus treated people in that situation.

            John Chapter Four tells us a story about Jesus meeting a Samaritan woman at a well.  It turns out she has had five husbands and the man she is with now is not her husband.  Jesus does not condemn her.  Jesus does even criticize her.  In fact, Jesus says he can give her living water.  Then, he does something he rarely did--he tells her right out that he is the Messiah.  Jesus did not want this woman to feel guilt or shame.  Jesus wanted her to have salvation and eternal life.

            In John Chapter Eight a woman is brought to Jesus who, we’re told, was caught in the act of adultery.  The teachers of the law and the Pharisees want her to be stoned to death.  Jesus does not argue with them.  He simply says, “Let any of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”  And of course, no one does, because they know they are all sinners.  After they leave, Jesus forgives the woman and tells her to change her life.

            What Jesus knew, and what the Bible tells us, is that we are all sinners.  And God does not look at sin the way humans do.  God does not put sins on a scale, and say this person’s sins are really bad and another person’s sins are not so bad and someone else’s sins don’t matter at all.  God says all of us are equally sinners.  All of us have an equal need to repent.  All of equally need God’s mercy and forgiveness.  Every one of us.

            And Jesus knew something else.  Jesus knew that none of us can live our lives backwards.  We cannot go back to the past and change the things we’ve done.  All of us can think of things we’d do differently if we had it to do over again.  But it’s not possible to do that.  All we can do is start from where we are and go forward.

            And that’s what Jesus wants us to do.  Jesus does not want us to be burdened with guilt and shame over the past.  If we need forgiveness, Jesus wants us to ask for it and receive.  But then, Jesus wants us to let it go and move forward.  What Jesus wants us to do is what he told the woman in John Eight and what he told so many others:  Go, and sin no more.

            So, if you’ve been divorced or are going through a divorce right now, know this:  God loves you.  God is there for you.  God is sorry that you’ve been hurt.  But God will not hold it against you.  God wants you to put your past mistakes behind you, start from where you are, and move forward with your life:  loving God, loving others, being faithful to God, following God, and allowing God to lead you and guide you through life.  Of course, that’s what God wants for people who have not been divorced, too.

            God did not give us rules for living so He could punish us for violating them.  God gave us rules for living to help us live our lives in the best way we can.  Wherever we are in life, and whatever we’ve done in life, may we go forward living our lives the way God wants us to.  If we do that, we’ll live the best lives we can possibly live.