Who Are You, Lord?

This is the message given in the United Methodist churches of the Wheatland Parish on Sunday, May 5, 2019.  The Bible verses used are Acts 9:1-20.

            Imagine that you’re Saul.  You’re an up-and-coming young Pharisee.  You’re well-educated and intelligent.  The higher-ups have their eye on you.  They’re grooming you for big things, maybe even a seat on the Sanhedrin, the ruling council.  Your future is looking bright.

            There’s this group of people you’re aware of.  They call themselves Christians.  You hate them.  It’s nothing personal, but you’re full of zeal for the Lord.  You want God’s rules to be followed, the way Moses and all the people who’ve come after him say they should be followed.  And for sure, you don’t want Jewish people to worship anyone but the one true God.

            And that’s the problem.  See, these “Christians” claim to be worshiping God, but in fact they worship this guy called “Jesus”.  They say this Jesus was the Messiah, the Savior.  Well, you know that’s a lot of nonsense.  That Jesus guy was a criminal.  After all, he was crucified, wasn’t he?  That’s something that only happens to the worst of the worst.  And besides, it was the Sanhedrin that turned Jesus over to the Roman government to be killed.  You know they would not have treated Jesus like a criminal if it was not true. 

            But these Christians just won’t go away.  They keep going all over the area, getting people stirred up, causing trouble.  So, you decide you’ve got to do something about it.  You go to the Jewish authorities and ask for permission to arrest these Christians.  And they give it to you.  So you go out and get to work, determined to capture all these Christians and send them back to Jerusalem to be prosecuted.

            So that’s what you’re doing one day--you’re going to Damascus to capture Christians.  And out of the blue, a light flashes from heaven.  You fall to the ground--in stunned amazement, in shock, in awe.  You hear a voice from heaven that says, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”

            You try to respond, but nothing comes out.  All kinds of thoughts are going through your mind.  “What’s going on?  Is that really the voice of the Lord?  What does He mean, why are you persecuting me?  I’m not persecuting the Lord.  I’m going after these blasphemers, these “Christians”, these people who are causing trouble.  I love the Lord.  I’m serving the Lord.  Why is the Lord saying I’m persecuting Him?”

You try to defend yourself.  You try to explain yourself.  But you cannot do it.  You stutter around, trying to say something.  And then, you say the only thing you can think of to say, “Who are you, Lord?”

            Think of how far Saul’s world had to have been turned upside down, for him to ask that question.  Because he thought he knew exactly who the Lord was.  In fact, he had no doubt about it.  Saul was absolutely certain that he knew everything he needed to know about the Lord.  He’d learned from the best rabbis around, and he was a good student.  Saul knew what God had told the prophets.  He knew all the rules and regulations that had been handed down by the Pharisees and the teachers of the law.  He knew what you were supposed to do to follow God and serve God.  He knew what you were not supposed to do, too.  Anything and everything there was to know about God, Saul knew it.

            And now in a flash--literally in a flash--Saul found out that everything he thought he knew was wrong.  Everything.  He thought he knew so much, and now he finds out he knows nothing.  Saul thought he had been serving God, and now he finds out he’s been persecuting God.  And he is completely and totally at a loss.  He suddenly realizes that he has absolutely no idea who God is or what God wants.  He has no idea who God is at all.

            Have you ever been in that situation?  Not that exact situation, probably, but have you ever been in a situation where you thought you knew how things were supposed to go, you thought you knew what was supposed to happen, you thought you knew what God wanted you to do, and all of a sudden you realized that none of it was right?  Have you ever been in a situation where you were convinced, that you were confident that you knew what God’s will was, and you tried to follow it, and then you found out that what you thought was God’s will was not God’s will at all?

            I think at least some of us probably have.  Because most of us here have had times when things went against us.  Times when we were in trouble through no fault of our own.  Times when things went against us and we did not understand why.  And we prayed, and we asked God for help, and--God did not help.  Or at least, we believed that God was not helping.  And it turned our world upside down.  We thought we knew who God was and what God wanted, and we found out that all the things we thought we knew were wrong.  And were completely and totally at a loss.  Maybe we even feel, as Saul did, that we have no idea who God even is any more.

            That’s the time when we find out about ourselves and about our faith.  When God turns out not to be who we thought God was--when God turns out not to be who we want God to be--what do we do?  How do we react?  Are we willing even to accept that God might not be who we thought God was?  Can we be open to learning who God really is, and learning how we can truly serve God and follow God?  Are we willing to ask, as Saul did, “Who are you, Lord?”  Or do we turn away from God, deciding that if God is not who we think God should be then God is not worth worshiping?

            Saul was willing to learn.  He asked the question, “Who are you, Lord?”  And when Jesus told him, he listened.  Jesus told Saul to go to Damascus, and there he’d be told what to do.  And he did it.  He had to be led by others, because he could not see, but he did it.  He went to Damascus and went on a holy fast, not eating or drinking for three days while he waited for the Lord to tell him what to do.  And of course, his eyes were eventually opened, he began to preach, and he went on to become one of the greatest evangelists and religious leaders in history.

            What would’ve happened if he had not?  Suppose Saul had said, “I don’t believe this.  I know who God is.  I know who that Jesus was.  This has to be a trick.  Maybe it’s even Satan.  I don’t know what it is, but I know it cannot be God, and I’m not listening.”  What would’ve happened then?  Would he have stayed blind?  Would the Lord have done something else, something more, to convince Saul?  Would the Lord have found someone else to take Saul’s place?  What would’ve happened?

            We’ll never know.  We’ll never know, if Saul had missed this chance, whether he’d have gotten another one.  Maybe he would’ve, but maybe not.  If Saul had said no, we might never have heard of him.  In fact, for all we know, maybe Saul was not the Lord’s first choice.  Maybe the Lord contacted some other people, and they said no, and Saul was the next one on the list.  Now don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing in the Bible that says that.  It’s just speculation on my part.  But it’s at least possible.

            We all have an idea of who God is.  None of our ideas is completely right, because God is greater and bigger and awesomer than anything we can even begin to imagine.  I mean, this is the God who can be everywhere and every time at once.  This is the God who knows everything that each person does, who knows every word each of us says, who knows every thought each of us thinks.  This is the God who knows what’s going to happen a hundred, a thousand, a million years in the future if the world is going to last that long.  None of us can understand that God.  It’s not possible for us, as mere human beings to do that.

            That means that, to one degree or another, each of us has some ideas about God that are wrong.  As we go through our lives, day after day, we often don’t notice that or think about it.  But then, something happens--sometimes very suddenly--and we realize it.  We realize that some of our ideas about God are wrong.  What do we do then?  Are we open to learning more about God?  Are we willing to say, as Saul did, “Who are you, Lord?”  And are we willing to listen and learn?

            As certain as Saul had been, when he found out he was wrong, he was open to learning.  He really did want to follow God and to serve God.  He had been trying to do that--he just was going about it in the wrong way.  And when he found that out, he was open to finding out what God wanted him to do and doing it the right way.  And God used Saul, later called Paul, to do some amazing, incredible things.

            I think everyone here wants to follow God and to serve God, too.  And we’ve been trying to do that.  And I’m not saying everything we do is wrong--we do a lot of things right.  But we don’t do everything right--after all, we’re not perfect people, and this is not a perfect church.  So the question is, are we open to finding out what God wants us to do and doing it the right way?  Because if we are, God will use us, and will use this church, to do some amazing, incredible things, too.