Love Without Judgment

This is the message given in the United Methodist churches of the Wheatland Parish on Sunday, March 31, 2019.  The Bible verses used are Matthew 7:1-12.

            Have you ever been in a situation where it felt like everyone around you was judging you?

            It’s not a very pleasant feeling, is it?  Even if you cannot think of anything you’ve done wrong, even if you’re convinced that you’ve done the best you could, it’s still a really uncomfortable feeling.  You feel like you always have to be careful, like you always have to be looking over your shoulder.  Sometimes you feel like you’re afraid to do anything or even say anything, because it feels like the people around you are just waiting, even hoping for the chance to catch you in a mistake and nail you for it.

            And so, as we talk about what we can give up for Lent, today we’re going to talk about giving up judgment.  And we’re going to talk about replacing it with kindness and love.

            Now, I want to make clear that in saying we should give up judgment, I’m not saying that there should be no standards of right and wrong.  I think the Bible makes clear that there are.  Yes, Jesus said, “Do not judge, or you, too, will be judged.”  But that statement is just one verse of a larger speech that Jesus made, what we now call the Sermon on the Mount.

In that sermon, Jesus tackles all kinds of subjects.  He talks about anger and forgiveness.  He talks about adultery and lust.  He talks about divorce.  He talks about revenge and the need to love even our enemies.  He talks about humility.  He talks about prayer.  He talks about greed.  In all of those things, Jesus clearly states “this is what’s right, and this is what’s wrong”.  Those standards clearly exist, and Jesus is not at all afraid to say so.  And in all of these things, Jesus’ point is the same:  this is how you should live you and I should live our lives.  If we’re going to call ourselves followers of Jesus, then this is what we should do.  This is how we should live.

And that’s why Jesus said, “Do not judge, or you, too, will be judged.”  And it’s why he followed it up with this:  “For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”  And it’s why he then went on to talk about how we cannot try to remove a speck of sawdust from someone else’s eye when we have a plank in our own eye.

Jesus is not saying standards of right and wrong don’t exist.  He clearly says they do.  But what he’s telling us to do is take those standards of right and wrong, of good and evil, and apply them to our own lives.  Not take them and apply them to other people’s lives.  Not judge how well someone else is living up to those standards.  That’s for God to decide, not us.  What we’re supposed to do is focus on living up to those standards ourselves, regardless of what anyone else might do.

And it’s easy to see why Jesus would say this.  Because the bottom line is that the only person who I have the power to change is me.  I cannot change anyone else.  And that’s true of each one of us.  The only person we have the power to change is ourselves.  If someone else wants to change, we might be able to help them.  But we cannot change anyone who does not want to change.  The only person we can change is ourselves.  And as we’ve talked about before, even changing ourselves is pretty hard.  When we think about that, when we think about how hard it is for us to change ourselves, it’s pretty obvious that changing someone else is going to be pretty much impossible.

So our primary focus needs to be on our behavior.  Are we living up to Jesus’ standards?  Are we living lives that show we are followers of Jesus Christ?  Are we living humbly, forgiving others, loving our enemies, and doing all the other things Jesus told us to do?  Those are the things we need to focus on.  Not judgment.

But at the same time, none of us lives in isolation.  We deal with other people all the time in life.  Jesus said not to judge others, but if we don’t judge people what should we do?  Well, the answer is probably pretty obvious.  Treat them with kindness.  Treat them with understanding.  Treat them with caring.  Treat them with love.

But having said that, what does it actually look like?  What does it mean to say that we’re not going to judge people, that we’re going to treat them with kindness and understanding and love?  I mean, it sounds good in theory, but how does that play out in our relationships with real people?

I think it comes down to the last sentence in our reading for today.  It’s what we now commonly call the Golden Rule.  Jesus said, “In everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.”

Remember what we talked about at the beginning of the message, how unpleasant it feels to be in a situation where someone is judging us.  If it’s unpleasant for us when someone is judging us, it’s going to be unpleasant for someone else when we judge them.  If we don’t want people to judge us, then we’d better not be judging other people, either.  

But that raises a question, right?  What do we do when we see someone heading down a wrong road?  What do we do when we see someone, especially someone we care about, doing things that the Bible clearly indicates are wrong?  We’re told not to judge them.  But does that mean we need to approve of what they do?  Does it mean we should not have any opinion whatsoever?  Does it mean that, if we have an opinion, we should keep it to ourselves?  What do we do?

It’s a tough question.  It really is.  What is the kind thing to do in that situation?  What is the loving thing to do?  How would you want someone to treat you, if they saw you doing those things?

An easy thing to do is to do nothing.  To just ignore the situation and let the person go ahead and do whatever they’re doing.  Another easy thing to do is to start talking about what a terrible person someone is for doing what they’re doing.  Those alternatives are easy, but neither of them strikes me as a particularly kind or loving thing to do.

I don’t think there is an easy way to handle this.  But here’s what I’ll tell you.  As I look back on my life, I can think of some times when someone loved me enough to come to me and tell me that what I was doing was not right, that it was not acceptable, and that I needed to change.  That was not an easy thing for either of us.  I’m sure it was not easy for them to say those things, and I know it was not easy for me to hear them.  I did not like it at all.  But after I thought about it for a while, I realized that what they were saying was right.  I did need to change.  And I’m grateful to them for loving me enough to tell me so.  What I experienced in those situations was not judgment.  It was love.  Love that cared enough about me to let me know that I needed to stop wandering away and get back on track.

Doing that is tough.  But love is not always easy.  Sometimes love requires us to do hard things, to do things that we’d rather not do, to take risks we’d rather not take.  But if what we feel is truly love, we’ll still do it.  And we’ll find a way to do that shows that it’s done from an attitude of love and kindness.  

            And another part of that love and kindness is not abandoning people if they choose not to change.  Because again, no one can be changed against their will.  It’s their choice.  And if they choose not to change, we need to let them know that we still love them anyway.  Not that we approve of what they’re doing.  But that we still love them, and that we’ll still be there for the when they need someone.

            That may not be easy, either.  But it’s how we’d want someone to treat us, right?  In those situations where someone loved me enough to tell me that I needed to change, if I’d chosen not to, I’d have wanted them to still care about me.  And if, at some point, things came crashing down and I had to admit they were right, I’d want them to still be there for me.  Not to say “I told you so”, not to tell me what an idiot I was and how I should’ve known better, but just to be there for me.  To let me know I was not alone and that they’d do what they could to help me pick up the pieces.

            Giving up judgment and loving people is not easy, because love is often not easy.  But it is rewarding.  If, as we always say, God is love, then loving people is the most God-like thing we’ll ever do.  So let’s give up judgment and treat people with kindness and love.  Not just for Lent, but for all our lives.

What We Want Most

This is the message given in the United Methodist churches of the Wheatland Parish on Sunday, March 24, 2019.  The Bible verses used are Philippians 4:4-9.

            What’s the one thing you’d like to have most in life?

            Well, there was a survey in Huffington Post a few years ago that asked about that.  The specific question was “If you could say in one word what you want more of in life, what would that be?”  And you know what?  What most of us want is not more material possessions.  You know what we do want?  The top ten answers to this question were things like happiness, freedom, joy, balance, things like that.  What they all amount to, really is peace.  All of us want to be at peace:  with ourselves, with others, with the world.  With God.  We want to be at peace with our lives.

            It’s understandable why we’d want that.  But the question is, why is it so hard for us to get it?  Why is it so hard for us to feel at peace in our lives? 

            Well, you know the answer to that as well as I do.  It’s hard for us to be at peace because we’re human beings living in a human world.  And anything that humans are involved with is less than perfect, sometimes a lot less than perfect.  And so, we have worries.  We worry about having enough money.  We worry about our health.  We worry about our loved ones--spouse, children, grandchildren, parents, grandparents, lots of others.  We worry about how things are going in the country.  We worry about how things are going in the church.  We worry, we worry, we worry, about these and a hundred other things.  And all those worries keep us from feeling at peace.

            If you think about all those worries I mentioned, plus any other worries you may have, what’s the one thing they have in common?  If you were to combine all these worries into one thing that we worry about, what would it be?

            The future, right?  The one thing that all the things we worry about have in common, the one thing that all the things that take away our peace have in common, is that we’re worried about the future.  

            Well, I guess that makes sense.  I mean, it would not make much sense to worry about the past.  That’s all over and done with.  We already know what’s happened, for good of for bad.  There’d be no point in worrying about that.  What we’re really worried about is the future.  What if I lose my job?  What if there’s a drought?  What if there’s a flood?  What if I get a serious illness?  What if something happens to my spouse or my kids?  What if something happens to my grandchildren or my parents?  What if, what if, what if?  We’re worried about all sorts of things that might happen, or may happen, or could happen.  And all those worries keep us from feeling at peace.

            Now, don’t get me wrong.  I do this, too.  But why?  Why are we so worried about the future?  And why do we let those worries keep us from feeling at peace?

            As we think about the things we can give up for Lent, this is one of the biggest ones.  This is one that would really make us feel happy, if we could just do it.  In fact, according to that survey, it would give us the one thing we want most in life.  This week, the challenge is to give up worry and replace it with peace.

            Why do we worry about the future?  Well, I suppose it’s because the future is unknown.  The past is known.  The present is known.  But the future is not.  Every day, when we get out of bed, we’re stepping into the unknown.  And that means anything could happen--that’s pretty much the definition of the unknown.  And because anything could happen, we start thinking about all the bad things that could happen.  And we worry.

            But again, why do we do that?  When we think about the fact that anything could happen, why do we immediately think about all the bad things that could happen?  After all, if anything could happen, that means there are all kinds of good things that could happen, right?  But too often, those are not the things we think about.  We think about all the bad things that could happen.  And we worry about them.

            Now, I want to make one thing clear.  There’s a difference between worrying about the future and preparing for the future.  I’m not saying that we should go around never giving a thought to what might happen next.  We should be prepared for things that could happen.  In fact, in a lot of ways, preparing for the future is the exact opposite of worrying about the future.  There’s no need to worry about what might happen if we’re prepared for it.  If we’re prepared, we know that when something happens, we’ll be able to handle it.  We’ll know what we’re going to do.  Even if it’s something really bad, we’ll know what we’re going to do about it.  We don’t have to worry about something when we’re prepared.

            But here’s the thing.  When we think about preparing for the future, what do we think about?  Usually, we think about things we can do, right?  If the subject is money, we think of things we can do to make more or to spend less, or both.  We try to get a better job, or to make better investments.  We think of things we could do without, or ways we could buy things cheaper.  If the subject is health, we try to eat better, or to get more exercise, or to get regular checkups at the doctor’s office.  If the subject is our loved ones, we try to do things to take care of them, to help them, to make sure they know they’re loved.

            Now, understand, there’s nothing wrong with any of those things.  Those are all good things to do.  But in all of our preparations, there are too many times we leave something out.  Or, rather, someone.  God.

            I assume that most of us here, maybe all of us here, would say we trust God.  But do we really?  Do we really trust God to take care the future?  Or do we think we have to do it all ourselves?  And here’s an even more important question:  do we truly live our lives as if we trust God to take care of the future?  Or do we live our lives as if we have to do it all ourselves?

            Again, we should do what we can to prepare for the future.  But if we’ve done all we can do, and we’re still worrying about the future, then it seems to me that we really don’t trust God as much as we should.  We don’t trust God to take care of the things that you and I cannot take care of.

            Now, again, I’m as guilty of this as anyone.  Maybe I say that too much, but I never want anyone to think I’m up here acting like I’m somehow better than you, that I have this all figured out and that you people need to shape up.  The reason I can understand these things is that I do them as much as anybody.  I worry about all kinds of things.  And I don’t trust God as much as I should.

            Trusting God is really the key to it.  Listen again to what Paul says in the letter to the Philippians:  “The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

            If we want to have peace in our lives, Paul tells us what to do.  Present your requests to God.  Ask God to take care of the situation, whatever the situation may be.  There’s no situation that’s too big for God to handle.  And there’s also no situation that’s too small for God to handle.  That’s one of the really cool things about God--we can go to God with the big, major issues, but we can also go to God with the little things, the things that might not seem important to anyone else, but they’re important to us.  Whatever you’re worried about, take it to God.  God will hear, and God will understand.

            How do we do that?  With prayer.  And when I say prayer, I’m not talking about a quick five or ten second prayer.  There’s nothing wrong with quick prayers, but they should not be all we do.  If we’ve got something that’s really worrying us, and we want to give it to God, we need to spend some time.  We need to tell God all about it.  Tell God everything about the situation and why we’re so worried about it.  Not because God does not know--God knows everything.  But if we want to be at peace, we need to tell it to God.  We need to give God all of it.  That’s the only way we’re going to get rid of the burden of worry.

            Remember what else Paul says:  “The Lord is near.”  God is near.  And we may know that in our heads.  But the only way we’ll feel God’s presence in our hearts is if we spend some time with God.  That’s why, again, we need to tell God all about the situation, whatever the situation is.  When we tell God all about it, when we spend some time with God, we can feel God’s presence in a way that we cannot feel it in a quick five or ten second prayer.  And it’s only by feeling God’s presence that we can truly turn our problems over to God.  And it’s only be turning our worries over to God that we can stop worrying about them and be at peace.

            So that’s our challenge for this week.  Whatever we’re worried about, let’s take it to God.  Whether it’s a big thing or a small thing or something in-between, take it to God.  Spend some serious time in prayer.  And trust God with it.  Whatever “it” is, trust God with it.  Feel God’s presence with us, and trust God with it.  If we can do that, we’ll have the one thing that everyone wants.  We’ll have peace, the peace that comes from trusting in God.

Things Change

As I write this on Sunday, it seems like there is snow everywhere you look.  There are huge piles of snow all over town.  If you get out in the country, you can see the remnants of huge drifts that blocked every road in the area.  Outside one of the doors of the church there’s a drift as tall as I am.  A lot of the streets still have snow on them.  Even though we’ve had a few days of melting, it seems like there is snow absolutely everywhere.

But you know what?  In a month or six weeks or so, I’ll be able to ride my bicycle on those streets.  It is going to get warmer.  Spring is going to come.  Now, that will create problems of its own--at some point, instead of seeing snow everywhere, it’s going to seem like we can see water everywhere.  Some places, like southeastern South Dakota and a large part of Nebraska, already are seeing that.  But that’s another subject.

You’ve heard the saying that “If you don’t like the weather around here, wait five minutes and it will change.”  But it’s not just the weather that changes.  All things change.  All the time.  Sometimes we don’t want them to.  Sometimes we’re so happy with the way things are that we wish things could just stay that way forever.  Other times we can hardly wait for the change.  We’re so unhappy with the way things are that we think that any change would have to be better.  And of course, we have many times that are in between those feelings.  But really, how we feel about it does not make much difference.  Things are going to change, whether we want them to or not.

It’s the way God created the world, so we assume it must be what’s best.  And there certainly seems to be some logic to it.  I mean, unless you think we have a perfect world, we need to have things change.  That’s the only way things can get better.  There’s the risk that things will get worse, of course, but nobody ever moved forward without taking a risk.  And besides, life would be pretty boring after a while if nothing ever changed, don’t you think?

But of course, we all know that there’s one person who never changes.  Actually three persons.  God.  God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit.  God does not change.  God is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  And in a world that always changes, that’s a pretty comforting thought.  At least it is to me.  I hope it is to you, too.

So if things are going well for you right now, be sure you take the time to enjoy them, because things are going to change.  And if things are not going well for you, hang in there and be patient, because things are going to change.  And through all the ups and downs of life, be sure to stay faithful and rely on the all-powerful, almighty, all-loving, never-changing God.

Winning the Battle

This is the message given in the United Methodist churches of the Wheatland Parish on Sunday, March 17, 2019.  The Bible verses used are Luke 9:23-26 and James 3:13-18.

            The Bible tells us that each of us is created in the image of God.  And yet, because sin entered the world, the Bible also tells us that each of us inherently has a sinful nature.

            And so, as we try to live our lives as Christians, these two things are constantly in tension.  There’s a constant battle going on in our hearts.  We want to live for God, dedicate our lives to God the way we’re supposed to.  And yet, our sinful nature keeps getting in our way, dragging us down, taking us away from God.  And one of the biggest ways in which our sinful nature does that is in the sin of selfishness.

            It is so easy for us to be selfish.  Society encourages it.  “Look out for number one” is the motto of the age.  The symbol of our times is the selfie.  We’re constantly told that we should be able to do whatever we want to do whenever we want to do it.  It seems like we get that message everywhere we look.

            But the thing is, outright, obvious selfishness is not the biggest problem.  It’s a problem, of course.  And we’re all subject to falling for it at times.  But selfishness reveals itself in a lot of more subtle ways.  Ways that we don’t think of as selfish.  Ways that not just society in general but most people around us would not think of as selfish. 

            Selfishness comes in when someone stops by or calls and we think, “I’m busy right now.  I don’t have time for this.”  Selfishness comes in when we’re asked to help with a project and we say, “I can’t do that.  I have too much to do.”  Selfishness comes in when we’re asked to donate to something and we say, “I don’t have the money for that.  I need to pay my bills.”  We could come up with all kinds of other examples, too.

            Now, I understand that there can be times when those things are quite literally true.  But that’s what makes this such a tricky thing.  While there are times when those things are literally true, there are a lot of times when they’re not.  There are a lot of times when, as the old saying goes, “I don’t have time” is another way of saying “I don’t want to”.  There are times when “I have to pay my bills” means “I’m saving up for something I want”

            And the thing is, it’s really easy for us to make excuses for ourselves.  I know because I’ve done it many, many times.  I still do it, far too often.  I tell myself, it’s not really being selfish.  I need to take some time to myself.  I deserve to have some nice things.  What’s wrong with that?  Deep down, I know what’s wrong with it.  I know what I’m doing, really.  But I drown out those thoughts with my excuses.  And if that does not work, then I just keep myself from thinking about it too much.

            Now, maybe you don’t do this kind of thing as much as I do.  Maybe you don’t do it all, I don’t know.  I don’t know what you do.  I don’t mean this to sound harsh or judgmental about anyone.  I don’t have the right to do that.  I just know it’s something I struggle with, and I think I’m probably not the only one.

            James tells us where this comes from.  It comes from our sinful nature.  Listen again to what he says.  “If you harbor...selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.  Such wisdom does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic.  For where you have...selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.”

            It’s what we said at the start of this message.  There’s that part of us that’s made in the image of God.  But there’s this other part, our sinful nature, that gets in the way.  It’s not from heaven.  It’s earthy, unspiritual, and demonic.  But it’s still there.  And it does not seem to be going away by itself.  So what can we do about it?

            The first thing to do, as James says, is to acknowledge that it’s there.  James says that when we have these selfish feelings, we should not deny the truth.  It’s really easy to deny the truth.  It is for me, anyway.  Again, deep down, I know the truth.  But I make excuses for myself.  I tell myself it’s okay.  I lie to myself.  A lot of times, the biggest lies we tell are the lies we tell ourselves.  It’s so easy to do.  But if we’re going to get rid of our selfishness, we first need to acknowledge that it’s there.

            So if we’re willing to do that, what’s the next step?  Well, as we said last week, you cannot replace something with nothing.  We need to replace something with something.  If we want to give up something, whether we’re giving it up for Lent or for some other reason, we need to replace it with something else.  In this case, we can replace selfishness with selflessness and giving.

            Now, in talking about selflessness and giving, I’m not talking about giving more to the church.  I mean, I’m all for giving more to the church.  If you feel moved to do that, that’s great.  Thank you.  But that’s not what I’m talking about.  When I talk about selflessness and giving, I’m talking about giving of everything we have.  Not just our money, but our time, our talents, our abilities, everything.  Everything that makes up our lives on earth.  And I’m not talking about giving them to the church.  That’s one way you can do it, but what I’m really talking about is giving them to God.

            Listen to what Jesus said to the disciples in our reading from Luke:  “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.  For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.  What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?”

            When we talk about losing our lives for Christ, we often think of that in present, physical terms.  We think of someone, maybe in the Middle East or someplace, who’s actually killed because of their faith in Christ.  That certainly is one way that we can lose our lives for Christ.  But I don’t think it’s the only way.

            How do we measure our lives?  By units of time, right?  Years.  Months.  Days.  Hours.  Minutes.  Those are the things by which we measure our time on earth.  Those are the things by which we measure our lives.

            So, whenever we give something selflessly, with no thought of getting anything in return, we lose a little bit of our life for Christ.  Whenever we make time for someone who needs us, even though we think we’re too busy, we lose a little bit of our life for Christ.  Whenever we make time to get involved in a project that helps people, even though we can think of a lot of other things we’d rather be doing, we lose a little bit of our life for Christ.  Whenever we give to a worthy cause that will help people, even though we have lots of other things we want to do with our money, we lose a little bit of our life for Christ.

            Those are not easy things to do.  Too often, we want to save our lives on earth.  After all, our lives on earth are pretty short.  With every year that goes by I realize just how short our time here is.  I’ve already lived well over half of my time, even if I live to a fine old age.  It’s really easy for us to get very protective of the time we have left.  And again, we can come up with all kinds of excuses and lies to tell ourselves about why it’s okay to do that.

            But here’s the thing.  Our lives on earth may be short, but eternity is long.  If we’re willing to lose the short time that we have on earth and give it to God, we can save our lives for eternity.

            But just as we said last time, I don’t think this is something we can do on our own.  I don’t think I can, anyway.  I’ve tried.  I have good intentions.  I say, “This time I’m going to win the battle.  This time I’m going to overcome my selfishness and live the way I’m supposed to.  This time I’m going to live like I really am created in God’s image.”  And maybe, this time, I do.  And maybe I even do next time.  But eventually, the sinful nature comes back.  And it works its way in.  And it convinces me to give in to my selfishness again.  It convinces me to use all those excuses and tell myself all those lies for why it’s okay.

            Maybe you’ve had that happen, too.  If so, then maybe you agree with me:  we cannot win this battle on our own.  Our sinful nature is too strong.  We can only overcome it with God’s help.  And the way we get God’s help is through prayer.

            So in this period of Lent, let’s pray.  Let’s pray for God to help us win the battle.  Let’s pray for God to help us overcome our sinful nature and live lives that show we’re created in the image of God.  Let’s pray for God to give us a spirit of selflessness and giving.  Let’s pray for God to help us lose our lives on earth, so we can save them for eternity.  Let’s give up selfishness, not just for Lent, but for all of our lives.

Who's In Charge Here?

Well, we got a bunch more snow and wind over the weekend.  And now we've got a bunch more snow and wind in the middle of this week.

I don’t know anyone who’s happy about that.  Even my friends who claim to love winter are tired of it.  Even the school kids, who usually are happy to have a snow day, have had all the snow days they can use.  We’re all ready for spring and warm weather.  Or at least, for a few sunny days without snow.  But, here we are.  We can’t do anything about it.  All we can do is find a way to deal with it.

That’s how life works sometimes, isn’t it?  There are a lot of things that happen that we’re not happy about.  We think, if only things would go right for a change.  Or at least, if only things would stop going wrong.  But things keep going the way they’re going.  And we can’t do anything about it.  All we can do is find a way to deal with it.

It can be very frustrating when things happen like that.  And the thing is that not only can we not do anything about it, we really cannot blame anyone for it.  There’s not a person we can go and confront or even yell at.  I suppose we could blame God, but that’s pretty unsatisfying.  What are we going to do, walk outside and yell and shake our fists at the sky?  It might make us feel better for a few seconds, but it’s not going to change anything.

So, we’re left with finding a way to deal with it.  I wonder if one of the reasons God allows things like this to happen is to remind us of who’s in control here.  I mean, most of us would acknowledge that God is in control, but a lot of us like to live our lives under the illusion that we’re actually in control.  We like to think that we’re captains of our fate, masters of our destiny.  And then a snowstorm comes along, or something else happens, and we’re reminded that we’re not really in control of much of anything.  There are all kinds of things that happen that we cannot do anything about at all.

So, again, we need to find a way to deal with it.  One way, which may help you, is to simply accept it.  I mean, if we cannot change it, and if yelling about it doesn’t help, what else is there, really?  We accept things, sometimes, simply because we have no other choice.

Sometimes the things we have to accept are worse than a snowstorm.  Sometimes it’s the loss of a loved one.  Sometimes it’s a terrible illness or injury.  Sometimes it’s the loss of a relationship.  There are all kinds of bad things that happen.  They are very hard to accept sometimes.  But again, if we cannot change them, what else can we do but accept them?

In accepting them, however, remember this.  God truly is in control.  That does not mean that God causes bad things to happen, but Romans 8 tells us that God can work all things for the good of those who love him.  All things.  God’s ways are better than our ways.  God’s plans are better than our plans.  And God’s timing is better than our timing. 

So the best thing to do is simply put our faith in God, trust God, and find a way to deal with whatever life throws at us.  Life can be hard, but God is there.  And God is always faithful.

Changing Your Life

We are in the season of Lent.  Lent is one of the most important times on the Christian calendar.  It’s not a joyous time, the way Christmas and Easter are.  Lent is a serious time.  Lent is a time for us to think about the sacrifices Jesus made for us.  That includes, of course, the ultimate sacrifice, when he was crucified to take the punishment for our sins.  It’s also a time when we are supposed to repent of our sins and really change our lives.

But how many of us ever do that?  Seriously, how many of us really repent of our sins and even make much of an effort to change our lives?  Some probably do--maybe it’s even you.  But I suspect a lot of us don’t.

I think there are probably a few of reasons for that.  One of them is that, deep down, most of us don’t think we’re all that bad.  I mean, we’d admit that we’re sinners.  We’d admit that we need God’s love and grace and forgiveness.  But we tend to think, “Well, you know, I’m doing okay.  I’m not perfect, but I’m okay.  I’m doing about as well as anybody could reasonably expect me to do.”  We don’t try very hard to change because we don’t really think we need to.

Another reason is that, even if we realize that, in theory, we should change, a lot of us are comfortable with our lives as they are.  Many of us like our lives the way they are.  And even if we don’t, well, we’re used to it.  It’s what we know.  If we truly repent, if we truly try to change, well, what could that lead to?  We don’t know.  It’s kind of scary to think about.  It’s much easier, it’s much safer, to just keep living like we are.

And another reason is that true repentance, really changing our lives, is hard.  The things we do, the attitudes we have, the thoughts we have, are all pretty deeply ingrained into us.  Most of us have gotten into habits that we’ve had for quite some time.  Our thoughts and words and actions often happen automatically, before we even stop and think about it.  Making even simple changes, like deciding to give up sweets or something, are pretty hard for us.  Making really deep changes is a lot harder.  For some of us, it’s so hard that it seems impossible, and we don’t even try.  For others, we do try, but we get discouraged and give up.

True repentance, truly changing our lives, is hard.  If it was easy, we’d all have done it a long time ago.  We cannot do it by ourselves.  Well, maybe that’s painting with too broad a brush.  Maybe you can truly repent and change your life by yourself.  But I know I can’t.  The only way I can truly repent of my sins and change my life is with the help of God.

So in this season of Lent, I encourage you to pray.  “Oh, that’s the pastor’s answer to everything:  pray.”  Well, yeah, that is a tendency when you’re a pastor.  But I don’t mean just an ordinary prayer.  I mean really taking some time in prayer.  I mean really trying to open our hearts and our souls to God’s Holy Spirit.  I mean really asking God to come into our lives and change us.  And then, asking God to give us the courage, and the strength, and the determination, and the trust, to actually stick to the changes God starts making in our lives.

We emphasize repentance and changing our lives every year during the season of Lent.  Wouldn’t it be cool if this was the year we actually did it?

Bear With Me

This is the message given in the United Methodist churches of the Wheatland Parish on Sunday, March 3, 2019.  The Bible verses used are Colossians 3:12-17.

            Are you giving up something for Lent?  If so, what?

            If you don’t know yet, you’d better make up your mind.  Lent starts this Wednesday.  We’ll have our Ash Wednesday service this week, marking the beginning of Lent.

            Nobody’s required to give up something for Lent, of course.  It’s not like it’s a salvation issue or something.  The purpose behind it is good--we recognize that Jesus sacrificed his life for us, so we sacrifice something for the forty days of Lent in acknowledgement of that.  We all need to recognize the sacrifice Jesus made.  If giving up something for Lent helps you appreciate that sacrifice more, that’s a good thing.

            But here’s the thing.  Whenever we give something up--even if it’s a bad thing that we really need to give up--it kind of leaves a hole.  And we need to fill that hole with something.  For example, a couple of times I gave up Diet Coke for Lent.  But I could not just not drink anything--I had to find something to replace Diet Coke with--water, juice, whatever.  Those of you who’ve given up smoking know that you cannot just stop smoking.  You have to have something you can do when the urge to smoke comes on.

            It’s simply a rule of life that we cannot replace something with nothing.  We have to replace something with something.  And so, as we prepare to enter Lent, we’re going to look at some things most of us need to give up.  But more importantly, we’re going to look at what we can replace those things with.

            The thing is, though, that for most of us, the things we need to give up are not really things.  Here’s what I mean.  According to a survey of twitter, these are the top eight things people give up for Lent:

1.      Social media

2.      Alcohol

3.      Chocolate

4.      Swearing

5.      Meat

6.      Soda

7.      Coffee

8.      Fast Food

            Now, if you want to give up one of those things, or something similar to that, that’s fine.  There’s nothing wrong with doing that.  But none of the things on that list is sinful.  I mean, they can be taken to extremes and lead to sin, but there’s nothing inherently sinful about fast food, or coffee, or soda, or any of the other things on that list.  

            What I’m proposing, and what we’re going to talk about in our Lent sermon series, is that we give up things that can truly be sinful, and replace them with things that are good.  We’re going to start with anger.  We’re going to talk about giving up anger, and replacing it with patience.

            Now, when we talk about anger, we’re not talking about just a passing annoyance at something that went wrong.  We’re also not talking about just being upset about something.   “Anger” is defined as a strong feeling of displeasure and usually of expressed hostility.  Words with a similar meaning are bitterness, malice, wrath, and hatred.  Those are not good things.  We need to get them out of our lives.

            But it’s not easy.  And to do it, we need to replace it with something.  So I propose that we focus on replacing anger with patience.

            Our Bible reading for today talks about patience.  The Apostle Paul writes this:  “As God’s chosen people...clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive each other if any of you have a grievance against someone.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

            Let’s unpack that.  Let’s start with the first four words there, words that we sometimes skip over when we read this.  Paul tells us this is something we are to do “as God’s chosen people”.

            I mention that because it is really easy, when we get angry, for us to justify our anger.  I know.  I’ve done it many times.  We tell ourselves that we have every right to be angry.  We tell ourselves that what’s happened, whatever it is, is wrong.  It’s unfair.  It’s unjust.  We tell ourselves we should be angry about it.

            And a lot of times, society will agree with us.  Just turn on the news sometime.  It seems like all you see on the news is people who are angry about something.  In fact, if you’ve followed the recently concluded United Methodist General Conference, and the things that have been said since it ended, you’ve heard a lot of anger.

            Society may agree that the anger is justified.  But as Christians, we are not supposed to look for approval from society.  We’re supposed to look for approval from God.  As God’s chosen people, we are not supposed to clothe ourselves with anger.  We are supposed to clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  As God’s chosen people, we need to give up our anger.  And we need to replace it with patience.

            Now that may sound good.  But the tricky bit is, how do we do that?  How do we replace anger with patience?

            I think Paul tells us.  In fact, it’s in the very next sentence.  He says, “Bear with each other and forgive each other if any of you have a grievance with someone.”

            Bear with each other.  We don’t have to agree with someone.  Just bear with them.  We don’t have to accept what someone says or does.  Just bear with them. 

Bear with them, and try to understand them.  Try to understand where they’re coming from.  Try to understand why they act the way they do.  Try to understand why they believe what they do.  Try to understand why they live the way they live.  Be patient with them.  Bear with them.

Being patient with someone really involves two things.  The first is just recognizing that we all grow up differently.  We grow up in different places.  We grow up in different families.  We grow up with different experiences.  We grow up with different advantages or disadvantages.  And all of those things shape us.  They shape our view of life.  They shape how we think and how we act and what we believe.

Now, that’s not to say that there’s no such thing as right or wrong.  The Bible makes clear that there is.  But we’re not talking about winning an argument.  We’re talking about bearing with people.  We’re talking about being patient with people.  We’re talking about understanding people.  If we do that, maybe we’ll be able to convince them that we’re right.  Maybe they’ll convince us that they’re right.  Maybe neither of us will convince each other.  But we can still love each other.  Patience leads to love.  Anger does not.

And the other thing that patience involves is understanding that everyone has stuff going on in their lives that we know nothing about.  And I believe that’s literally true.  Each one of you has stuff going on in your life that I don’t know about.  And I have stuff going on in my life that none of you know about.  And to the extent we do know about some of those things, we forget about them.  We get caught up in our own lives and don’t think about the stuff going on in someone else’s life. 

And sometimes the stuff going on is good stuff.  But sometimes it’s not.  Sometimes it’s bad stuff.  Sometimes it’s stuff that causes depression.  Sometimes it’s anxiety.  Sometimes it’s stuff that would not seem like any big deal to anyone else, but to us it’s a major thing.  And because it would not seem like a big deal to anyone else, we cannot even really talk about to anyone.  We don’t think anyone would understand or care.  Or, maybe we’re embarrassed about it.  Or maybe we figure it’s nobody else’s business anyway.

That’s why we need to be patient with people.  It’s why we need to bear with people.  Because we don’t know.  We don’t know what happened in the past to make them the way they are and to make them think and act the way they do.  We don’t know what’s going on in their lives right now that’s making them the way they are and making them think and act the way they do.  That’s not meant to be an excuse for bad behavior.  It’s meant to be a plea for understanding.  It’s meant to be a plea for putting aside our grievances, bearing with people, and having patience.  It’s meant to be, really, a plea for love.

And again, I’m not saying that I do this and you don’t.  I’m no better than anyone else at this.  In fact, I’m sure some of you are better at it than I am.  But it something we all can get better at doing.  And with God’s help, we will.

Because that’s really the key to it.  It’s the key to everything we’re going to talk about in this sermon series, really.  We cannot, by the exercise of our own will, give up our anger and replace it with patience.  We might do it sometimes, for a while, but eventually our own flawed, sinful nature will get in our way.  We can only really give up anger and replace it with patience with the help of God.

So this week, let’s work on this.  Let’s pray about it.  And yes, I know that’s the clichéd answer pastors give to everything, to pray about it.  But if you believe, as I do, that this is something we cannot do by ourselves, then the only way we’re going to do it is with some help.  And who better to ask help from than God?

So let’s all take this seriously.  Let’s spend some serious time in prayer.  Let’s ask God to help us get rid of anger and replace it with patience.  And let’s not just do that for Lent--let’s do it all the time.  Then we’ll be much closer to being the people God wants us to be.