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Thursday, March 5, 2015

All By Myself

This is the message from the midweek Lent service in the Gettysburg United Methodist church Wednesday, March 4, 2015.  The Bible verses used are John 12:20-36


            I said at the beginning of this sermon series that one of our goals is to pretend we don’t know how the story of Jesus on earth turns out.  We’re trying to put ourselves into these stories, to try to think the way the people there would’ve thought and to feel the way the people there would’ve felt.  I think it’s really important that we try to do that with our Bible reading for tonight.
            A group of people are in town for the Passover Festival.  They go up to one of the disciples, Philip, and ask if they can see Jesus.
            Now, we’re not told what they knew about Jesus.  This is not long after Jesus had raised Lazarus from the dead, so probably they’d heard something about that.  Maybe they’d heard about Jesus’ reputation as a healer.  Maybe they even heard about him as a teacher, as a wise man.
            So, again, imagine you’re one of these people.  We’re getting to meet this miracle worker, this wise man, this man we’ve heard about but never really thought we’d get to see in person.  And he says stuff like this:  “Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed.  But if it dies, it produces many seeds.  Those who love their life will lose it, while those who hate their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.”  And he says, “Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say?  ‘Father, save me from this hour’?  No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour.”  And he says, “You are going to have the light just a little while longer.  Walk while you have the light, before darkness overtakes you.  Those who walk in the dark do not know where they are going.  Put your trust in the light while you have the light, so that you may become children of light.”
            If we’re among the people listening to this, how do we react?  Well, I suspect there’s a good chance we really don’t have a clue what Jesus is talking about.  Here we were meeting this man that we were kind of in awe of, expecting to hear some great pearls of wisdom, and here he is going on about a kernel of wheat falling into the earth and talking about becoming children of light.  What’s that all about?
            And if we do know what he’s talking about, we’re likely to be even more confused.  Because what Jesus is talking about is his death.  And he’s talking about how he’s going to be glorified in death.  And, he’s talking about how people need to pay attention to him while he’s here and follow him before darkness overtakes us.
            I don’t think any of that would make any sense to us.  Why would Jesus die?  He looks healthy enough.  And how is death going to bring him glory?  Death is just death, right?  And why is darkness going to overtake us?  It all seems so strange.
            We’re not told if they asked him any questions about it.  If they did, though, it does not look like Jesus answered them.  Instead, we’re told that when Jesus finished speaking, he left and hid himself from them.
            And that, of course, would confuse us even more.  Why would Jesus do that?  Why would Jesus say these things, knowing that we’re going to either not have a clue about them or would be totally confused by them, and then get up and leave?
            Well, let’s try to put ourselves in Jesus’ place.  How do you suppose it would feel to be Jesus at this point?
            I would think not very good.  In fact he says, in our reading for tonight, “Now my soul is troubled.” 
See, Jesus knows the situation.  He knows what’s going to happen to him.  He’s going to face things that are probably about as hard as anything anyone can possibly face.  He’s going to be arrested.  He’s going to be tortured.  He’s going to be killed.  And this is all going to happen within the next few days.
Jesus knows this.  But nobody else does.  He’s tried to tell his closest friends, the disciples, but they don’t understand it either.  They say they do, but they don’t.  And Jesus knows they don’t.  Nobody understands it.  And if they did understand it, they would not believe it.
I have to think that’s all tied in to why Jesus got up and left.  I suspect that, in that moment, Jesus just did not want to have to deal with all these people who did not understand and could not understand.  Not that he hated them, not that he was mad at them or anything.  He just needed to get away from them for a while.  He needed to get away from all the questions that were asked by people who were sincere and had good intentions, but who had no idea what they were talking about.  He needed to get away from having to explain things to people who could not understand what he was saying no matter how many times he tried to explain in to them.  He just needed to get away for a little while.
We talk a lot about the sacrifice Jesus made for us through his death.  And that’s entirely appropriate, of course.  Jesus made a huge sacrifice for us through his death.  He took the punishment that should have gone to us.  He died so that we could have eternal life.
But Jesus also made a sacrifice by coming to earth in the first place.  In heaven, Jesus, God the Son, is in the constant presence of God the Father and in the constant presence of the Holy Spirit.  But here on earth, Jesus was cut off from them.  Yes, Jesus prayed, and he could feel their presence with him, and every once in a while something would happen like what happened in our reading tonight, a voice coming from heaven to confirm what Jesus was saying.  But it was nothing like what he had experienced in heaven.
Jesus was both fully divine and fully human.  We don’t know exactly how that worked, but we know it means that Jesus was totally unlike any other being who has walked the face of the earth.  There has never been anyone else who was both fully divine and fully human.  Only Jesus.
And while in a way, it might be kind of cool to be completely unique, it seems like it would also be awfully lonely.  Because there would be no one anywhere who understood what it was like to be you.  Even his best friends, the disciples, did not understand what it was like.  No one on earth could truly understand what Jesus was going through.
I wonder if even the other parts of the trinity, God the Father and God the Holy Spirit, truly knew what Jesus was going through.  I mean, that gets into how the trinity operates and how the persons communicate with each other and I have no idea about any of that.  But I just wonder if even God the Father and God the Holy Spirit could know exactly what it was like to be both fully human and fully divine the way Jesus, God the Son, was.
So here’s the point.  We have a prayer emphasis on people who feel alone.  Maybe there are people here tonight who feel alone because, as I’ve said, there are times we’re surrounded by people and we still feel alone.  If you do, just know that Jesus knows how you feel.  Jesus understands exactly what it’s like to be in a situation where no one understands you.  Jesus knows all about feeling like there’s no one in the world who’s like you, like there’s no one in the world who has your problems or your troubles.  If that’s how you’re feeling, Jesus knows exactly what that’s like.
So talk to him.  Talk to Jesus.  Tell him how you feel.  He’ll understand.  And if you need to go off by yourself once in a while, if you just need to get away from everyone sometimes, it’s okay.  Jesus understands that, too.  In fact, that’s what Jesus did sometimes.
But notice this, too.  Jesus went off by himself for a while, but he did not stay by himself forever.  He eventually came back.  Because he knew that, no matter how much he felt like he was alone, he needed to be around people.  He needed to be around the disciples.  Yes, they frustrated him terribly.  Yes, they got him upset sometimes.  Yes, he sometimes felt like they were never going to get it.  But he still needed to be around them.
Jesus knew that what he was going to face would be too hard for him to face alone.  And he knew that, as frustrating and ignorant as the disciples could be, Jesus knew that they cared about him.  He knew that, in their flawed and imperfect way, they loved him.  And so he came back, and he spent his last free hours on earth with them.
So, if you need to get off by yourself sometimes, it’s okay.  But be sure to come back.  Because what you’re going to face will be too hard for you to face alone.  Life is too hard for us to face and alone.  And there are people here who care about you.  There’s a church that cares about you.  We may be frustrating and ignorant sometimes, but we care about you.  In our flawed and imperfect way, we love you.
            Life is hard, but it’s harder when we try to go through it alone.  So let’s stop trying.  Let’s open ourselves up to each other.  Let’s give each other a chance.  We’re flawed and imperfect, and we’re frustrating sometimes, and we’re ignorant sometimes.  But despite that, we can still care about each other and love each other.  And that’s the most important thing for us to do.

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