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Thursday, March 27, 2014

Mixed Emotions

This is the message from the Wednesday Lent Service at the Gettysburg United Methodist Church on March 26, 2014.  The Bible verses used are John 11:1-44.
            Our Lent sermon series is “Jesus in HD”, looking at both the fully human and fully divine Jesus.  This week we’re going to look at the human Jesus.  Specifically, we’re going to look at how Jesus dealt with the death of someone close to him.
            There are not a lot of things more human than that, are there?  One of the certainties of life, some might say the only certainty of life, is that we’re all going to die.  And that means that all of us, if we live very long, are going to have someone close to us die.
            A lot of us try not to think about that.  We don’t want to think about the fact that we’re going to die, and we don’t want to think about the fact that those close to us are going to die.  And to an extent, that’s good.  I’m not suggesting we should go around all day thinking about death.  That’d be a pretty unpleasant way to live, after all.
            But we should not ignore the reality of death, either.  And in fact, we cannot ignore it, even if we want to.  Death has a way of forcing its way into our consciousness, whether we want it to or not.
            As I said Sunday, in the not quite three years I’ve been in this parish, I’ve conducted roughly fifty funerals.  Some of them have been for people who you were close to.  And of course, there have been a lot of other funerals in this community that I have not been a part of.  Every week, when you read the newspaper, there are two or three obituaries, sometimes more.  That means every week, there are quite a few people in this community who are mourning the death of a loved one.
            That’s a hard thing.  Even when it’s the death of someone who’s lived a long and full life, it’s hard.  And when it’s someone who passes away at a young age, due to an illness or an accident or something, it’s even harder.  It’s a tough thing for us to deal with.
            In our Bible reading for tonight, Jesus deals with the death of a loved one.  Lazarus was a good friend of his.  We have no idea how old Lazarus was, but from the context, it seems like he must have been a younger man.  I say that because his illness and then his death are not being treated the way we’d expect the death of an elderly man to be treated.  There’s no sense of Lazarus having lived a long and fruitful life and now going on to his reward.  The sense of it seems to be that Lazarus’ death is considered a sad, even tragic thing.
            And it seems to me, as I read this story and think about it, that Jesus has a mix of emotions about the situation.  When Jesus first hears about Lazarus being sick, he seems to be in complete control, both of the situation and of his own emotions.  He stays where he is for two days, apparently knowing that in that time, Lazarus is going to die.  When it’s time to go, Jesus tells the disciples what he’s going to do.  He tells them that Lazarus has died and that he’s going to raise him again.  When he gets to Bethany, Jesus tells Martha that he’s going to raise Lazarus from the dead.
            That makes sense, when we think about it.  After all, Jesus is the one who conquered death itself.  He did that not just for himself, but for all of us.  We read in Mark’s gospel of Jesus, very early in his ministry, raising Peter’s mother-in-law from the dead.  So it makes sense that Jesus would not get too shaken up over death.  Jesus knew he had power over it.
            And yet, somehow, when Jesus sees Mary, Jesus’ whole demeanor changes.  We’re told that Jesus was “deeply moved in spirit and troubled”.  In fact, we’re told Jesus wept.  It’s like, when Jesus was actually face-to-face with the reality of the situation, something inside of him changed somehow.  Jesus, who had seemed in total control of the situation, who knew he had power over death, cried.
            And oddly enough, I could not find a good picture to represent that.  I searched all kinds of things on Google images, and I could not find a normal-looking picture of Jesus crying.  It’s like showing a normal-looking Jesus crying normal tears makes us uncomfortable.  It’s like we don’t want to see the human Jesus crying real human tears at a real human loss.
            And that’s too bad.  Because both of Jesus’ reactions--the composed, in control Jesus and the sad, troubled, crying Jesus--are needed to complete the picture.  In fact, it seems to me that Jesus’ two reactions mirror the way we often react to death.  
As Christians, we believe that we are saved by God’s grace and mercy and through our faith in Jesus Christ as our Savior.  So, if we’re confident that our loved ones have that faith, we know that when they die, they are going on to heaven.  They are going to eternal life in the presence of God.  They will be in the place of love and peace and joy forever.
            And that belief is a comfort to us.  It can lead us to say, as we sometimes do, that the death of a loved one is a blessing.  That’s especially true if our loved one has lived a long and full life and was more recently suffering in some way.  We know that their suffering is now ended, and that makes us feel better about someone’s death.
            And yet, when a loved one dies, even in that situation, will still cry.  We still grieve.  Despite what we believe about life after death, there is still sadness and pain involved when someone we love dies.
            And sometimes, we feel guilty about that.  Sometimes, we wonder if our tears and sadness show a lack of faith.  After all, we think, logically, if I know my loved one is in heaven, I should be happy.  And I’m not.  Does that mean I don’t really believe my loved one is in heaven?
            No.  It does not mean that.  I think one of the things Jesus’ reaction to the death of Lazarus tells us is that both of those feelings--the belief that a loved one is now in heaven, and the sadness at a loved one’s death--are perfectly natural, normal things for us, as human beings, to feel.  No matter how strong our faith is, no matter how confident we are that our loved one is in heaven, both of those feelings are perfectly natural and perfectly normal.
            We know it’s normal because it was the reaction of the fully human Jesus.  Jesus, who understood death better than any one of us ever will, who knew what heaven is like far better than any one of us ever will while we’re on this earth, who in fact had actually lived in heaven before he came to earth, and who knew he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead, still cried when he came face-to-face with the fact of Lazarus’ death.
We don’t know exactly what the mix of emotions was in Jesus at that time.  I wonder if Jesus himself fully understood the emotions he felt right at that moment.  He may have--I’m not saying that he did not.  But think about it.  As human beings, there are many times when we don’t fully understand our emotions.  That’s especially true when we’re faced with something as serious and traumatic as the death of a loved one.  I think it’s entirely possible that Jesus himself did not fully understand why he cried in this situation.
            What does that mean for us?  Here’s one of the things I think it means.  It means that it’s okay if you and I struggle with the reality of death, especially the death of a loved one.  It’s okay because even the fully human Jesus struggled with it, too.
And what that means is that, when a loved one dies, whatever it is that we’re feeling, it’s okay.  It’s okay if we’re happy at the thought that our loved one is now in heaven.  It’s okay if we’re sad that our loved one is gone.  It’s okay if we feel anger or confusion.  It’s even okay if we just kind of feel numb or if we’re not even sure what we feel.  
All of those feelings and many others are okay.  In fact, all of those feelings at once are okay.  None of those things show a lack of faith, a lack of caring, or anything else.
Dealing with death is never easy.  It was not easy for Jesus.  It’s not going to be easy for us.  There are no rules for it.  But the one thing we don’t need to do is feel guilty about whatever we’re feeling.  It’s hard enough to deal with the death of a loved one.  Don’t pile guilt on top of everything else you’re feeling.
But remember this:  Jesus ultimately defeated death.  He defeated death for himself.  He defeated death for Lazarus.  He defeated death for Peter’s mother-in-law.  And Jesus will defeat death for you and me, too.
Death is a reality in this world.  We cannot ignore it. But it our almighty, all-powerful, all-loving God is always with us, in life and in death.  God never leaves us to face anything alone.  God is always there for us, all the way.


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