Our Lent sermon series is “Jesus in HD”, looking at both
the fully human and fully divine Jesus. This week we’re going to look at
the human Jesus. Specifically, we’re going to look at how Jesus dealt
with the death of someone close to him.
There are not a lot of things more human than that, are
there? One of the certainties of life, some might say the only certainty
of life, is that we’re all going to die. And that means that all of us,
if we live very long, are going to have someone close to us die.
A lot of us try not to think about that. We don’t
want to think about the fact that we’re going to die, and we don’t want to
think about the fact that those close to us are going to die. And to an
extent, that’s good. I’m not suggesting we should go around all day
thinking about death. That’d be a pretty unpleasant way to live, after
all.
But we should not ignore the reality of death, either.
And in fact, we cannot ignore it, even if we want to. Death has a
way of forcing its way into our consciousness, whether we want it to or not.
As I said Sunday, in the not quite three years I’ve been in
this parish, I’ve conducted roughly fifty funerals. Some of them have
been for people who you were close to. And of course, there have been a
lot of other funerals in this community that I have not been a part of.
Every week, when you read the newspaper, there are two or three
obituaries, sometimes more. That means every week, there are quite a few
people in this community who are mourning the death of a loved one.
That’s a hard thing. Even when it’s the death of
someone who’s lived a long and full life, it’s hard. And when it’s
someone who passes away at a young age, due to an illness or an accident or
something, it’s even harder. It’s a tough thing for us to deal with.
In our Bible reading for tonight, Jesus deals with the
death of a loved one. Lazarus was a good friend of his. We have no
idea how old Lazarus was, but from the context, it seems like he must have been
a younger man. I say that because his illness and then his death are not
being treated the way we’d expect the death of an elderly man to be treated.
There’s no sense of Lazarus having lived a long and fruitful life and now
going on to his reward. The sense of it seems to be that Lazarus’ death
is considered a sad, even tragic thing.
And it seems to me, as I read this story and think about
it, that Jesus has a mix of emotions about the situation. When Jesus
first hears about Lazarus being sick, he seems to be in complete control, both
of the situation and of his own emotions. He stays where he is for two
days, apparently knowing that in that time, Lazarus is going to die. When
it’s time to go, Jesus tells the disciples what he’s going to do. He
tells them that Lazarus has died and that he’s going to raise him again.
When he gets to Bethany, Jesus tells Martha that he’s going to raise
Lazarus from the dead.
That makes sense, when we think about it. After all,
Jesus is the one who conquered death itself. He did that not just for
himself, but for all of us. We read in Mark’s gospel of Jesus, very early
in his ministry, raising Peter’s mother-in-law from the dead. So it makes
sense that Jesus would not get too shaken up over death. Jesus knew he
had power over it.
And yet, somehow, when Jesus sees Mary, Jesus’ whole
demeanor changes. We’re told that Jesus was “deeply moved in spirit and
troubled”. In fact, we’re told Jesus wept. It’s like, when Jesus
was actually face-to-face with the reality of the situation, something inside
of him changed somehow. Jesus, who had seemed in total control of the
situation, who knew he had power over death, cried.
And oddly enough, I could not find a good picture to
represent that. I searched all kinds of things on Google images, and I
could not find a normal-looking picture of Jesus crying. It’s like
showing a normal-looking Jesus crying normal tears makes us uncomfortable.
It’s like we don’t want to see the human Jesus crying real human tears at
a real human loss.
And that’s too bad. Because both of Jesus’
reactions--the composed, in control Jesus and the sad, troubled, crying
Jesus--are needed to complete the picture. In fact, it seems to me that
Jesus’ two reactions mirror the way we often react to death.
As
Christians, we believe that we are saved by God’s grace and mercy and through
our faith in Jesus Christ as our Savior. So, if we’re confident that our
loved ones have that faith, we know that when they die, they are going on to
heaven. They are going to eternal life in the presence of God. They
will be in the place of love and peace and joy forever.
And that belief is a comfort to us. It can lead us to
say, as we sometimes do, that the death of a loved one is a blessing.
That’s especially true if our loved one has lived a long and full life
and was more recently suffering in some way. We know that their suffering
is now ended, and that makes us feel better about someone’s death.
And yet, when a loved one dies, even in that situation,
will still cry. We still grieve. Despite what we believe about life
after death, there is still sadness and pain involved when someone we love
dies.
And sometimes, we feel guilty about that. Sometimes,
we wonder if our tears and sadness show a lack of faith. After all, we
think, logically, if I know my loved one is in heaven, I should be happy.
And I’m not. Does that mean I don’t really believe my loved one is
in heaven?
No. It does not mean that. I think one of the
things Jesus’ reaction to the death of Lazarus tells us is that both of those
feelings--the belief that a loved one is now in heaven, and the sadness at a
loved one’s death--are perfectly natural, normal things for us, as human
beings, to feel. No matter how strong our faith is, no matter how
confident we are that our loved one is in heaven, both of those feelings are
perfectly natural and perfectly normal.
We know it’s normal because it was the reaction of the
fully human Jesus. Jesus, who understood death better than any one of us
ever will, who knew what heaven is like far better than any one of us ever will
while we’re on this earth, who in fact had actually lived in heaven before he
came to earth, and who knew he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead, still
cried when he came face-to-face with the fact of Lazarus’ death.
We don’t
know exactly what the mix of emotions was in Jesus at that time. I wonder
if Jesus himself fully understood the emotions he felt right at that moment.
He may have--I’m not saying that he did not. But think about it.
As human beings, there are many times when we don’t fully understand our
emotions. That’s especially true when we’re faced with something as
serious and traumatic as the death of a loved one. I think it’s entirely
possible that Jesus himself did not fully understand why he cried in this
situation.
What does that mean for us? Here’s one of the things
I think it means. It means that it’s okay if you and I struggle with the
reality of death, especially the death of a loved one. It’s okay because
even the fully human Jesus struggled with it, too.
And what
that means is that, when a loved one dies, whatever it is that we’re feeling,
it’s okay. It’s okay if we’re happy at the thought that our loved one is
now in heaven. It’s okay if we’re sad that our loved one is gone.
It’s okay if we feel anger or confusion. It’s even okay if we just
kind of feel numb or if we’re not even sure what we feel.
All of
those feelings and many others are okay. In fact, all of those feelings
at once are okay. None of those things show a lack of faith, a lack of
caring, or anything else.
Dealing
with death is never easy. It was not easy for Jesus. It’s not going
to be easy for us. There are no rules for it. But the one thing we
don’t need to do is feel guilty about whatever we’re feeling. It’s hard
enough to deal with the death of a loved one. Don’t pile guilt on top of
everything else you’re feeling.
But
remember this: Jesus ultimately defeated death. He defeated death
for himself. He defeated death for Lazarus. He defeated death for
Peter’s mother-in-law. And Jesus will defeat death for you and me, too.
Death is
a reality in this world. We cannot ignore it. But it our almighty,
all-powerful, all-loving God is always with us, in life and in death. God
never leaves us to face anything alone. God is always there for us, all
the way.
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